Outraged. That is how I feel. It isn’t an emotion I wear well, or one that I am necessarily equipped to deal with. I am outraged that a man who spews vile sentiments about women, minorities, disabled people, and members of the LGBT community (and probably other groups I am missing) is going to be in charge of our country. In my view, voting him into office was essentially rubber stamping all of his awful remarks and behavior. I am personally offended and affected. And no, I can’t just stop whining and get over it, as many social media commenters have suggested. This isn’t a normal reaction to an election, because this isn’t a normal election. It’s my blog and I'll cry if I want to :-(.
This isn’t about a Republican winning or my difference of opinion in policies. I wouldn’t be happy about a president whose agenda is vastly different than mine, but I could at least understand people wanting to change, believing in conservative ideals, fighting for something they believe in. No, this is about what President-Elect Trump stands for, and how vastly inconsistent that is with my values and beliefs.
Women are held to a different standard than men, judged on a different basis. If I am not aggressive enough, I am too soft. If I am too aggressive, I am a bitch or a “nasty woman.” I have to be everything to everyone, all of the time, or it simply is not good enough. If I leave work early to attend a school event, I don’t take my job seriously. If I stay late to work on a project, or I have to travel, I am judged as a terrible mother. It is a game that I simply cannot win, and neither could Hillary. I truly believe that if Hillary Clinton had been a man, with all of the same facts and circumstances, she would have won. You are not going to convince me otherwise.
I’ve had women tell me that they were able to overlook his comments about women, because he had other things to offer. As if his attitude is no big deal, all men are like that. Boys will be boys, right? Hell no! This is not ok. Overlooking his comments is similar to blaming a rape victim for the clothes she wore. I am raising my boys differently (at least I hope), but this sends a message to the entire culture that it is ok to continue to treat women as something lessor, as something less than men. This is a message I was really hoping my daughter would never receive.
Many of my friends have a lot more to be sad and scared about than I. Friends with disabled children are in disbelief about President-Elect Trump’s attitude towards them, and what that will mean for health care and funding for programs they so desperately need.
Some of my LBGT friends with families are worried that marriages will be annulled or that shock treatment will be administered to make them “straight”.
A friend of mine was born in Puerto Rico, as was her husband. Their son was born in Connecticut and has lived here all his life. All of them are U.S. Citizens by birth. Yet, this sweet, innocent, six year old boy, was worried that they wouldn’t be able to live here anymore, once he became aware of the election results.
Other colleagues of mine that are not privileged to be white, but that are U.S. Citizens, and were born in other places, are worried that they will be incorrectly scooped up in whatever group President-Elect Trump is currently trying to deport. They carry their passports all the time now. Their fears are not unfounded, as this has happened in our not so ancient history.
We all need to figure out how to work together and move forward. That is not so easy for some of us, when even the KKK has endorsed President-Elect Trump. However, for better or for worse, we have to accept him as our President and do whatever we can to help him succeed. His failure will not be helpful to any of us.
I don’t believe that my Republican leaning / voting friends are any of the awful things they have been accused of in the last two days. I don’t think you are racist, sexist, misogynistic, unsympathetic to disabled people, or haters of the LGBT community. In fact, I know you are not. I know that because we are friends and family, and I have no tolerance for any of those things. None. If you were one or more of those things, we would not be friends, it is that simple. I also know that the vast majority of you do not like President-Elect Trump either, and for very similar reasons as mine.
Here is how I think we can begin to narrow the divide. We need to send a unified message to President-Elect Trump that his behavior around these issues is unacceptable. We need to stand together in our fight for equality and social justice; the way we almost always have. People in marginalized groups, need to know, now more than ever, that tolerance is a virtue that you still hold dear; that your vigilance did not change when you colored in the bubble for President-Elect Trump on your scantron. Maybe we need a hashtag for this, to make our allies easily identifiable; maybe something like #ISTANDUNITED. I don’t know, I don’t have all the answers, or maybe even any. I love this country, and I hate to see so much dissention.
I think I am done now. I had to get that off my chest. Maybe I will finally sleep tonight. Thank you for listening. Love wins.
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