Bye Mom-Mom!

Weekday mornings in my house are bittersweet. Usually the princess is up before I leave. She tackles me, says "I got you" and I hold her for as long as I can without being late for work.  I get to run my fingers through her soft blonde curls and feel her chunky little hands rubbing my face. When I tell her I have to go, she says "No!" and "mom-mom, wait!" I love that she calls me mom-mom. When she knows I'm really leaving, she smiles and waves and says, "bye, mom-mom!"

I saw this posted somewhere the other day and I saved it in case I needed a reminder.

I don't really need that reminder right now. I know that as Jack and Vivi grow more independent (which is really the goal, right?) their love for me will change, or at least their expression of that love. Jack won't be begging me to play with his castle the minute I walk in the door, even before I take my coat off or put my bag down. Vivi will not race over to me with her arms open while yelling at Jack, "No! My mom-mom!" They will still love me, but in a different way. Vivi will eventually just call me "mom" or "hey you" or just send me a text. 

I know this because Nick finished high school yesterday. 

Graduation isn't for another week, but he is effectively done with assignments and exams. Completed. We can check that box on our mental parenting to-do list.

18 years ago I could not have imagined today. I was worried about how I would pay for diapers and formula. I was worried about how Nick would grow up with parents not married. I worried about whether he would get a good education. I worried about everything. I worried for nothing. Things just have a way of working out.

These later stages of parenting seem so much harder than the early ones, the ones in which you are their whole universe. When I found out we were having Nick, I was scared of how I would handle such a big responsibility. It seemed like it would be overwhelming. It wasn't. It hasn't always been easy, but for the most part, it has been wonderful. People like to warn you about all the hazards of parenting: childbirth, not sleeping, the terrible twos, the dreaded teenage years. None of these things have been nearly as difficult as described. No one warned me that the hardest part of all would be letting him grow up and go out on his own. It won't be long now until he says "bye, mom" and I'll have to leave him at school and drive 7 hours home.

In the meantime, I am going to celebrate this milestone and savor the time I get to spend with him planning and preparing for his next exciting stage. One small step for Nick, a giant leap for his mom.