The Edwards Family Blog: Among the Roses

The weather was absolutely gorgeous on Mother’s Day. I woke up with the sun shining through the window, to hugs and kisses from Vivian, and I got to cuddle Jack on the couch while I drank my coffee. I wanted to soak in every precious moment.

I was keenly aware of how hard this day could be for those who had lost their mothers, those who longed to be mothers, and mothers that have lost children. Part of this awareness stemmed from a post on the “Remembering Ana Marquez-Greene” Facebook Page. Ana was one of the children who lost their lives at Sandy Hook Elementary School. Many moons ago, I attended the Greater Hartford Academy of the Performing Arts with Ana’s parents, high-school sweethearts, Nelba and Jimmy. Ana’s Memorial Facebook page is maintained by Nelba. Her writing is honest and inspirational; and her strength is truly admirable. She posted that Mother’s Day happened to fall on her birthday this year and that since losing Ana, the holiday had become particularly painful for her. Nelba’s post caused me to reflect on the tremendous and transforming gift of motherhood. Once you have assumed a maternal role, you are forever a mom, even if your child is no longer a child, or is no longer with us.

The Sandy Ground Project is constructing twenty-six playgrounds, all family endorsed, and each a very personal memorial to the angel it is honoring. In April, on Ana’s birthday, there was a ribbon cutting ceremony at her playground in Elizabeth Park in Hartford. I never had the privilege of meeting Ana, but I understand the playground to be a reflection of the things she loved the most. I was outraged when I learned that less than a month after being erected, it had been spray painted with graffiti. It seems these families are under constant attack from conspiracy theorists claiming the violence was a hoax, to fake foundations being set up to raise funds under false pretenses, and now vandalism. Enough already.

I wanted to spend Mother’s Day appreciating my children, my most precious gifts. I wanted to just watch them, hold them, and listen to their infectious giggles. We brought Jack and Vivi to Ana’s playground. In part, I wanted to go to let them run and just be their wonderful, uninhibited selves; and I wanted to go in support of Ana’s family. I want them to know that they remain in our thoughts and prayers and the things they are doing to honor Ana are making a very real difference.

Ana’s playscape is purple. Music is a prominent feature in the form of an electronic piano, xylophone, drums, and a bell. Some of her artwork is displayed, integrated into the structure. It is a beautiful thing. I am happy to report that the graffiti is gone. Jack and Vivi loved playing there, as did the many, many other children who were there that morning. Children of various ages, races, who speak different languages, and come from different backgrounds, all played together. As music is universal, so is childhood. It reminded me a lot of being at the Academy. It is sacred ground.

Elizabeth Park is famous for its rose gardens. It is truly picturesque when the roses are in bloom. I wanted to take pictures of the kids with the flowers. My kids were not really interested in the garden, they much preferred the playground.