I am Lutheran. Bernie is Catholic. There are many more similarities in those two religions than there are differences. In fact, I think at their very core, most religions lead to the same general teachings and tenets regardless of whether you worship God, a god or gods, Buddha, Allah or whomever. One of the things that drives me crazy about organized religion is the attitude of superiority. I don't understand how one brand of religion can decide it is superior to others.
In the beginning of our relationship, I was very much committed to my church and wanted Bernie to convert. I felt so strongly about it, our agreement was that Nick could have Bernie's last name if I could baptize him in my church. Since we were not married at the time, my grandfather was disappointed about this deal. He wanted a boy to carry on the Reifschneider name - something he is still waiting for almost eighteen years later (my brother is the only son of an only son). Somewhere along the way Nick said he would change is last name to Reifschneider if my brother did not have any boys. I just don't see that happening now. Plus, there is still hope for my brother.
Nick was baptized at Concordia Lutheran Church in Manchester, CT - the church I was confirmed in, and where Bernie and I would eventually marry. I wanted my youth advisor, John Brock to perform the baptism. He had to get special permission from the Bishop to do this since he was still in seminary. He came all the way from Pennsylvania to do the honors. Bernie's brother Gary had been in Jerusalem and brought back Holy Water for us to use. My Dad sang "Borning Cry" by John Ylvisaker.
I was pretty good about staying involved in church until Bernie and I moved to Montville and the drive was just too much. I wasn't really ready to find a new church, and when I started working nights, it became almost impossible to attend anyway.
We eventually attended a Lutheran church closer to our house but Sunday mornings are difficult, and after a few months, we just stopped going.
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| Who are those two kids that are purporting to be parents? |
By the time Jack was born, my mom had been ordained several years and was the obvious choice to perform his baptism. He was baptized at her church, a Lutheran church, shortly after his first birthday. We couldn't find the Holy Water (although it is still in our basement somewhere), and the congregation sang "Borning Cry."
After Jack's baptism, we started attending the Catholic Church about a mile from our house. We attended weekly services for several months. They have a very casual Sunday evening service where you can come as you are, and noisy kids are welcome and expected. I'm not sure why we stopped attending, we probably need to go back.
I wanted Nick to be confirmed but there was not a good way for him to take classes. The Catholic church wanted him to catch up on all the years he missed, and he wasn't really interested. I think part of him believes he is Lutheran and would follow through with confirmation if there was a relatively easy way to move forward. I feel guilty that Nick hasn't been confirmed but I know he has a solid base of religion after having four years of Catholic theology as part of his high school curriculum.
Vivian was named after my grandmother, and my grandparents helped to build the Lutheran church they attend. I wanted Vivian to be baptized in their church and she was. Their leader, Pastor Cheryl was there for all of us when my grandfather was undergoing cancer treatment. My grandmother sang "Borning Cry;" she also sang this at our wedding.
The only time we go to church nowadays is when we are in Georgia. Sad, I know. As Jack will be starting Kindergarten next year, we need to start going so that he can stay on track with his religious education. We need to pick a church and make a commitment, Part of the problem is that I am not entirely comfortable in a Catholic Church and Bernie isn't all that comfortable in a Lutheran Church. Maybe we need to meet in the middle and find an Episcopal church.
Part of my issue with any church is how much hypocrisy and scandal there seems to be. I have a real problem with the "do as I say, not as I do" mentality. Shouldn't we just walk the walk? Do we really need a church to tell us to pray, to forgive, to seek forgiveness and to follow the golden rule? Sometimes we probably do.
I am amazed and impressed by Jack's seemingly blind faith. He has a lot of questions about a lot of things, but he wholeheartedly believes there is a heaven, and that someday we will all be there. Maybe he is wise beyond his years, maybe it is developmentally appropriate, maybe both.
I believe there is a God. I believe there is life after death. I believe my prayers are heard and answered in ways that I don't always understand. I am thankful for my faith, as unconventional as it may or may not be. Faith is a source of hope and comfort when things aren't going the way that you hope or expected. Somehow things always seem to work themselves out in the end. There always seems to be a plan, even if it isn't mine.
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