Redshirting

We are "redshirting" Jack. According to Wikipedia, "Redshirting is the practice of postponing entrance into kindergarten of age-eligible children in order to allow extra time for socioemotional, intellectual, or physical growth. This occurs most frequently where children's birthdays are so close to the cut-off dates that they are very likely to be among the youngest in their kindergarten class."

Jack is age-eligible for Kindergarten. In our town, you have to be five by January 1st. Jack will turn five shortly after Thanksgiving. Many parents "redshirt" boys because generally their vocabulary is 12-18 months behind girls. That isn't an issue with Jack. His vocabulary is amazing. Academically he is just about ready for Kindergarten.  Socially, he seems a little immature to me but he definitely steps up when mom and dad are not around.  Is he ready for Kindergarten? Probably, but probably isn't good enough for me.  

When Jack was in daycare full-time I struggled a little with the fact that he wasn't in a "school" environment. I worried that he was somehow missing out on learning to navigate through an ultra-structured environment. Time will tell, but honestly I think the years of nurturing and individualized attention he received from Kellee has made him better prepared for school and life generally than the curriculum Nick went through both at Montessori preschool and at the Montville preschool. 

The biggest reason I am "holding him back" if you can even call it that, is self confidence. Early success in school will only foster his faith in himself. I don't want Kindergarten to come as a challenge to him. I want him to be a leader in his classroom simply because that is his natural role. Does that make me a bad person? The people that argue against redshirting seem to say yes.

Our friends who have older kids with late birthdays say they feel like their kids are always six months behind in school and they wish they would have waited. Others are sending young 17 year olds off to college feeling like they aren't quite ready. The first time I spoke with Jack's preschool teacher, she praised our decision saying she wished more parents would consider this option. 

Is it really wrong to give him one more year with Dad? One year to try out a traditional nursery school, and to continue to develop his reading, writing and math skills? I can't see how that harms anyone.

Then there is the mommy guilt. We are watching his 4 and 5 year old friends graduate from preschool and preparing to ride the big yellow bus. It makes me wonder whether we are doing the right thing. I feel like "holding him back" is somehow the opposite of what I should be doing, which I guess is pushing him onward and upward.

I worry about whether he will be teased. He is tall for his age. Will the kids wonder why Jack is turning 6 or 8 or 12 ahead of them?  When we moved here I was peppered with those questions. I started school in a system where you had to be 5 before September 1st. I have a December birthday so I had to wait another year. It was a simple explanation and I shrugged off the questions. What will Jack say? ("My mommy didn't think I was ready?") Lol. I guess we'll have to work on that.

When I see this picture, I am immediately reminded of how Jack is still in many ways only four, just a little guy.  He and Bernie waited in line for 90 minutes to meet Jack's hero. When it was Jack's turn he was too shy to shake Darth Vader's hand, give him hug, or use the force on him.

I suppose anytime you make an unconventional decision about your child, you will second guess yourself.  I just want to give him the most solid foundation possible.