"This isn't working."
I've uttered those words more times than I can count since my maternity leave ended. I've been feeling like I'm failing everyone: the kids, Bernie, myself, my house, my clients, my extended family, my friends, even the dog. Just when it seemed like maybe things were falling into place, one of the kids would be sick, we'd get a snow storm, or I would miss a flight. I feel like we've been holding it all together with popsicle sticks and duct tape, and that something has to give. Bernie tells me that even though I'm feeling like this, I'm not really failing. I'm still running at about 75% and that is 120% for most people. Even if that is true, its simply not good enough for me. I've been searching for a way out, a way to simplify things, praying that somehow this would all get easier, and knowing that in time, it will. Sometimes, prayers are answered in the most unexpected ways.
On March 7, 2013, I was in Tampa with my Florida team. I was about to give a presentation. Bernie sent me a text that he needed to talk. It was a text that would change everything.
Kraft split in October and Mondelez took Nabisco. Mondelez has been restructuring, and to make a long story short, Bernie was given a severance package. I'm not really at liberty to get into the details, and even if I were, it is not my story to tell. Bernie has been threatening to be a guest blogger for some time, maybe he will make good on this promise and explain exactly what happened. It came completely out of the blue. It was a total surprise.
To make a long story short, it will not be long before Bernie is a stay at home dad. Between what is coming with the package and pulling the kids out of daycare, things will be tight financially for awhile, but at the end of the day, if we are disciplined, we will be fine. Speaking of daycare, Kellee will have some openings because of this. If you or anyone you know is in need of daycare, let me know and I'll pass along the information. Good daycare is hard to find, and Kellee is the best! I'm sad that we will be losing her, although I know she will continue to be a dear friend to us for many years to come.
I wish this hadn't happened the way that it did. Bernie has been the "cookie man" for his entire adult life. You can imagine how difficult this is for him.
At the same time, it is a new beginning. He can go back to school and pursue whatever he wants, whether its art, graphic design, or human resources. He will get to have real, uninterrupted, quality time with the kids. I am admittedly at least a little jealous. I am truly excited to see what is next for him, for all of us. Stay at home dads aren't what they used to be. They aren't the crazy Michael Keaton character in the 1980s film, "Mr. Mom." They are fully competent, smart, sexy, sensitive and forging their own way. Think of Will Arnett's Character in "Up All Night" or Sam Jaeger's character in "Parenthood." Not surprisingly, these are two of my favorite shows when I actually have time to watch television (or at least snippits on Hulu Plus on my way to work when I actually catch the bus). Bernie will do things his own way, which is probably way better than the way I would have done them anyway. This is going to be a good thing for all of us. We get to slow down and breathe a little bit.
I will be planning his 1/2 retirement party in the very near future, let me know if you'd like to join us.
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