2013

At Ruth and Todd's 2nd annual New Year's Eve Party, Ruth wanted to know our top moment of 2013. As I thought about it, I couldn't come up with just one. It's been a pretty tough year for us, but even still, there are plenty of things worth celebrating. Here is what I consider my top 10 in no particular order:

1. Finding out that Nick is a talented actor and singer.

2. Watching Jack sword fight Darth Vader

3. Hearing Vivi say "mama" for the first time, seeing her walk for the first time, and just watching her grow before our eyes.

4. Bernie's roast

5. The surprise celebration of our 10th anniversary at the lake; and the day trip to Chatanooga with the kids.

6. Taking mom to NYC

7. Celebrating pre-Christmas with my Dad and Arleen, and getting to know Lindsey, Louis, TJ and Laura better this year.

8. New Orleans

9. The birth of my new niece 

10. The overwhelming outpouring of generosity, love, and support from our family and friends when we lost Bernie's dad.

There are so many more I could list here. We are truly blessed.

I look forward to the successes and challenges that await us in 2014.

Happy New Year!

Random Thoughts & Elf Shenanigans

I celebrated my birthday with Bernie, Jack and Vivi on Monday night since I was traveling on Tuesday. Bernie surprised me by making an awesome eggplant parmesean and red velvet cupcakes (both on my list of favorite things). Have I told you lately that I love him?

 

On Tuesday I needed to get my license renewed before I left for the airport. A word to the wise: don't wait until the expiration date to do this. You now have two options: a verified license and an unverified license. The unverified is easy. You bring your expired license and get a new one. However, it gets stamped "not for federal identification," which in my mind renders it wholly useless. The verified license requires everything but a DNA sample. The list of necessary documents is longer than Jack's Christmas list. Get organized a few weeks before you head to the DMV or AAA. You'll thank me later.

 

I had the unusual privilege of working in Georgia on this trip. Georgia is not usually part of my territory. This meant that I was able to spend two nights with Aunt Kelly and Uncle Rich, and have dinner with my cousins Lindsey and Jeremy. We celebrated my birthday there too. As always, it was great catching up and just being able to hang out with them. 

I love seeing my family near Atlanta. I hate the mad dash to Hartsfield Jackson at rush hour. I left Duluth (31 miles from the airport) at a little after 7am for a 9:55am flight to Tampa, and I made it to the gate just as boarding began. The traffic is insane. It took me 45 minutes just to get out of Duluth. The airport recently opened a new terminal.  Instead of continuing to add on to the monstrosity why not follow in the footsteps of other large cities and open a second airport on the other side of town (Houston, Dallas, Chicago, NYC, etc.)? How about half way between Duluth and Blairsville? That would be convenient (for me at least - LOL). I landed in Tampa on time for my mediation, and yesterday turned out to be a productive day.

 

Last night, I checked into the hotel in Tampa, ordered dinner, and found the couch in my room in time to catch the opening scenes of "The Sound of Music Live."  I recognize there are a lot of haters out there but overall I thought it was well done. I appreciate what the producers were trying to accomplish. The Sound of Music is not an easy score to sing. Anyone who has done theater recognizes how hard it is to do on stage. The added element of being live on television only makes the performance even more complex. I don't think it is fair to compare Carrie Underwood to Julie Andrews. Can anyone replace Julie Andrews? Putting Underwood in that role accomplished the goal of reaching an audience that had probably never even heard of The Sound of Music. To make live theater (something that is monetarily out of reach for a lot of folks), easily accessible, can only be a good thing. It was the most entertaining three hours of television I've seen in awhile. I hope other musicals will follow suit. As an aside, it did irk me that Walmart was allowed to use the score in their commercials. That is just plain wrong in my book.

In stark contrast to Atlanta, I had a 7:30am flight from Tampa this morning. I left my hotel room at 6:25am. I arrived at my gate at 6:53am; 28 minutes later. In that 28 minutes, I returned the rental car, checked a bag, took the tram to the terminal, went through security, and obtained a Starbucks skinny vanilla latte. Amazing, right? It probably would have taken 28 minutes just to get the latte in the Atlanta airport. 

While I was away, Bernie was in charge of the elves. He complains about this task, but secretly, I think he enjoys finding new ways to surprise Jack. The first thing Jack does in the morning is look for Lewis and the girl elf (we want Vivi to name her so she remains "the girl elf" until that happens). I love how excited Jack gets when he discovers their latest antics.

On Tuesday night, the elves toilet-papered the Christmas tree.

On Wednesday night, they went fishing:

Last night, they became "newsicians" and tried to make the sock monkey disappear.

I am headed home and really looking forward to seeing more live theater as Nick stars in "The Tale of Two Cities." Pictures (and maybe video) will follow.

Stay warm and have a good weekend!

Oh Christmas Tree

Waiting for the tree to be wrapped.

28 Days of Thankfulness - Day 28 - Opportunities

It seems rather fitting that this is the last post in the "Thankfulness" series. We submitted all of Nick's college applications today. The files will be complete once the school and his teachers upload transcripts and recommendations and his ACT scores are transferred. While not entirely complete, they are officially out of our hands and off our to-do list until we start getting responses. Up next scholarship applications and financial aid forms.

Nick applied to 10 schools at varying difficulties of admission and in different parts of the country. Some days he wants to start by commuting to a community college, and other days he wants to go away and have the full campus life experience. The indecisiveness seems to be part of the process. I just want him to make the best possible decision for him. The list in alphabetical order is:

1. Assumption

2. Canisius

3. Duquesne

4. Eastern CT State Univ.

5. Morehead State

6. Niagara University

7. Tennessee Tech

8. Three Rivers Community College

9. Univ. of CT - @ Storrs & Avery Point

10. Univ. of Pittsburgh

It was a little more emotional than I anticipated. I'm nervous for him and excited for him. I'm a little sad for me, I can't believe he's graduating in six months. He is ready for the next step.

I'm thankful that it is December 1st and we are this far along in the process. Mostly though I am thankful for all of the opportunities that will presenting themselves to Nick over the next several months. 

Whatever decision he makes, I just want him to be happy.

28 Days of Thankfulness - Day 27 - Making Memories

Jack has never had a birthday party before this year. His birthday is so close to Thanksgiving that we usually just have cake and open presents when our family has gathered for the holiday.

Jack was very clear this year that he wanted something different. He wanted a bounce house in our yard. That is a great idea unless you are a November baby living in New England. I almost gave in. It has been pretty cold this weekend so I am glad I didn't. The compromise was for us to take four of his friends (2 from daycare at Kellee's and 2 from preschool) to Bounce U in Rocky Hill and then have everyone back to our house for pizza, cake, and presents. My sister, brother-in-law, and niece and nephews (who are sadly too "old" for Bounce U), joined us at home. Jack couldn't imagine a party without his cousins.

Bounce U was really fun. Vivi is big enough now to enjoy some of the inflatables and she loves the slides. 

Bernie made Jack's cake, as he always does. Jack never asks for anything easy, yet Bernie delivers. This year Jack wanted an Emporer Palpatine cake. Bernie raised the bar yet again with this creation:

It passed the Vivian taste test:

Jack was a little overwhelmed by the whole thing. He alternated between saying "this is the best day ever" to being on the verge of a melt down.  He blew out his candles before we sang "Happy Birthday, and didn't want us singing to him. He says he hates that song.

Thank you to everyone who came for making Jack's birthday special. Today I am thankful for the chances we have to make positive and lasting memories for ourselves and for our kids. I think Jack will be talking about this for awhile.

28 Days of Thankfulness - Day 26 - The Cowboys

Being the first holiday without Bernie's dad, we knew that today would be a difficult day.  We made the decision a few weeks ago that we would keep the festivities very low key.  We would have sandwiches for those that eat turkey, some appetizers, a few side dishes, and a couple of pies.  If people wanted to stop by, they could come whenever they wanted.  We were not going to have a formal sit down dinner.  I don't think any of us could have sat in the dining room and looked at the empty chair where Ed was supposed to sit. 

 

A few of my friends posted this message on Facebook in the last two days and it is absolutely fitting:

 

My brother had to work today, so my sister-in-law, Gina, stopped by with my new niece.  It was so nice to have them here.  Alex was a very welcome distraction. 

 

At only 7lbs. now, Alex is still smaller than Vivi's Cabbage Patch Doll. Vivi kept trying to pick Alex up.  We had to be very careful to make sure that Vivi didn't get her hands on her cousin unless she was under very strict adult supervision. 



Gary and Katie were supposed to come home but unfortunately the big storm kept them in Pittsburgh. Our moms both came over and it was nice to have them here.   I really didn't take many pictures, usually I have a ton to post following a holiday. It was a very quiet day.  Other than the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and the on-line pre-Black Friday sales we've been shopping, you would hardly even know it was Thanksgiving.  It was exactly the day that we needed.

 

I hope all of you had a nice holiday with the people that mean the most to you.  The one thing this year has taught us is to appreciate the time you are given with them. Our thoughts and prayers are with all of the families that are feeling a void left by someone special they have lost.

 

Today I am thankful that the Cowboys won. No, I am not kidding. The game, or I should say the second half, injected at least a small amount of joy into Bernie's day

 

Happy Thanksgiving.

28 Days of Thankfulness - Day 25 - Music

My grandmother has signs in her kitchen that say:

"My favorite thing to make for dinner is reservations."

and

"The only reason I have a kitchen is because it came with the house."

She doesn't like to cook. I must have inherited that trait from her. I don't really like it either. Maybe because I never really learned how to cook.  I find I take recipes too literally. My type A personality wants to follow the directions exactly, and that just doesn't work. Plus there is the planning, the shopping, the dishes. None of that is appealing to me.

Thankfully, Bernie does most of the cooking. I do try to give him a break at least a few times a week. Tonight he questioned why my cooking always seems to include an impromptu dance party.  Jack and I both love the Katy Perry song, "Roar."  Jack calls it the "dancing through the fire song." I put it on my iPhone and Jack and Vivi and I sang and danced around the kitchen while I attempted to prepare dinner. It makes cooking way more fun and helps keep the kids occupied.

I love music, all kinds really. I used to hate opera and country, but lately those don't seem to bother me so much.  Anytime I am doing a task I'm not excited about (a long run, routine tasks at work, cooking, cleaning, etc.), I turn on the tunes and plough through. It helps keep me focused and on task.

Tonight I am thankful for music and impromptu dance parties, both of which make life (and dinner), just a little bit more interesting!

28 Days of Thankfulness - Day 24 - 5 Years of Awesome

Yesterday was Jack's birthday.  His shirt says it all, I am thankful for five years of awesome!

 

 

 

 

 

A night owl from the beginning, Jack was born just after midnight. I told Jack Monday night that when he went to sleep he would be four and that when he woke up on Tuesday, he would be five.   He didn't believe me at first. Then he said he couldn't wait to be five. He told me he was going  to "grow up" overnight and not be my little boy anymore. That proclamation was followed by a sinister laugh.

I left for work yesterday before Jack woke up. Bernie got to be the class parent at preschool, so he got to spend the whole day with Jack.  I was totally jealous.  Bernie made cupcakes decorated with Star Wars cookies for Jack to share with his class: 

 

 

Jack got to do all the special jobs at school.  He did the calendar, the weather, and picked out a book for his teacher to read.

 

 

After school, he got to celebrate with Bernie's mom.  We then let Jack pick where he wanted to go for dinner. He picked Chuck E. Cheese (of course). I was hoping it wouldn't be too crowded on a Tuesday night, but there was at least one school group there, so we didn't exactly have the place to ourselves.

Vivi didn't like Chuck E. Cheese at first, but she eventually warmed up to the rides and the music.



Look at the focus!

After Chuck E. Cheese, we came home and he got to open most of his presents.  I don't have any pictures of that because I was trying to stop the dog from opening them first.  Overall, I think Jack had a pretty great day.  The celebration isn't quite over yet.  He still has his party to look forward to on Friday.

 

The last five years have flown by.  I'm thankful for every minute, for his laughter, for his questions, for his hugs, for his exuberance, and for Jack just being Jack. 

 

I love you monkey, and you will always be my little boy, even when you do grow up.

28 Days of Thankfulness - Day 23 - Teachers

Jack's preschool class had their Thanksgiving feast today. Afterwards, they invited all the parents to come watch a little play they put on. My son made his theatrical debut as Captain of the Mayflower. He had the first line of the play: "I see land!" It was very cute.

I can only imagine how much work went into trying to get a bunch of 4 year olds to remember lines and songs, make hats and actually "build" the Mayflower. This on top of all of the other things the kids are supposed to be doing.  Things never go quite the way you plan with preschoolers. When Jack's hat ripped 1/2 way through the play, he was very upset and sat on the couch until it was over. One of his teachers (both of which have the patience of a saint), promptly got the tape to repair his hat, told him what a great job he did, and that everything was ok.

 

We have been blessed with great teachers for Jack and for the most part also for Nick throughout the years. Two of Nick's favorite teachers just got 10 requests for college recommendations for Thanksgiving. As if just teaching wasn't enough, they help all of their students with the college application process; and likely during personal time.

I've always had the utmost respect and admiration for teachers. Ok, not always, but at least since I've been a parent. Lol! As we approach the anniversary of that horrible day in Newtown, my appreciation for the teaching profession only grows.  We are constantly asking our teachers to do more and more with less and less. The vast majority love our kids and truly love teaching. It is not an easy task, the pay is less than stellar, and when push comes to shove, they will do anything to protect our most precious assets.

I am thankful for all of the teachers who have been a part of our lives and who have believed in my children.  To my own former teachers, I apologize for all the times that I wasn't exactly a model student. Thank you for not giving up on me.

28 Days of Thankfulness - Day 22 - The Internet

We've collected a mish mash of Christmas stockings over the years and our tree skirt was a basic red felt one that  never stayed in place. I just ordered matching personalized stockings for all of us as well as a coordinating monogrammed quilted tree skirt. Usually by the time I think of doing these things it's too late to get them in time for Christmas. I'm excited to see the finished product. Yeah for good Pottery Barn sales!

I ordered all of these and many other things over the years, from the comfort of my couch. Bernie does 95% of our grocery shopping online. The college application process is way more streamlined than even when I applied to law school.  Facebook allows us to connect and keep up with extended family and long distance friends in ways that weren't really possible before. 

I've often wondered whether it was easier to practice law in the days of snail mail, when you weren't getting 100 emails a day, and no one expected an instant answer. After discussing it at length with some of my older colleagues, I've concluded that it was not any less stressful. They had to use carbon paper for multiple copies. If they wanted to edit a brief after it was completed, it had to be completely re-typed (with all of the editing I do, I can't even imagine my life without the copy/paste function), and all of their research was done at the library in actual books. They didn't have the ability to work at home at night after their kids were tucked into bed. This meant much longer hours at the office and less flexibility to attend school functions, sporting events, etc.

Jack has asked before where the internet is and what it looks like. He thinks it is magic. In some ways he's right.  Today I am thankful for the magic of the internet, for all of the ways it has made time consuming tasks more efficient, and for the flexibility to work from anywhere; even if it has raised the bar on productivity, and tethered us with a seemingly inescapable digital leash. I think the pros outweigh the cons, at least so far.

28 Days of Thankfulness - Day 21 - Down Time

It has been a really long week. Next week is likely to be just as crazy with Jack's birthday, Thanksgiving, getting the tree up, etc.

We have no plans this weekend other than to get organized, get ready for Thanksgiving, work on college applications, and just hang out together.  I don't feel like we get to do that enough. In this world of endless activities and overscheduling, you almost have to block off hours on your calendar just for recharging.

Today I am thankful for lazy Saturday mornings and for being able to enjoy some down time with my family.

28 Days of Thankfulness - Day 20 - Blessings in Disguise

My Aunt Kelly was probably my first best friend (if you don't count my parents). 

She would take me everywhere with her: to the park, to feed the ducks, and sometimes to meet her boyfriends. After she met Uncle Rich, we would go to his farm to see the animals.

I liked Uncle Rich a lot, that is, until he wanted to marry my Aunt Kelly.  She was mine and I didn't want to share.  I was afraid he would move her far away from me. I don't know why I thought that, maybe it was because Aunt Jan and Uncle Tyler lived far away.

I wasn't happy about their wedding and I refused to take any pictures with them at all, except for this one.

When they had kids, I was even less happy. I thought they were trying to replace me.

Uncle Rich tried really hard to get me to like him. I remember one time in particular when he tucked me into bed and read me stories. That night he taught me how to count beyond 20.

It turns out that I was right about them moving away. We lived in New Jersey at the time, and they ended up moving right outside of Atlanta.  I was not happy.

At one point Uncle Rich got really sick. They didn't know what was wrong with him or if he was going to be ok. It was scary. I felt bad for being mean to him. I think it was at that point that I forgave him for "stealing" Aunt Kelly. I was about 8 or 9 at the time. I even wrote him a letter and told him I was sorry and that I hoped he felt better (although I am not sure it actually got mailed).  Once I forgave him, I realized what a great guy he really is. Fortunately for all of us, he made a full recovery. 

They have been married for 33 years. I'm  happy that they have each other.  Their two daughters - the ones I didn't really like in the beginning - have become my closest cousins. I was even in Lindsey's wedding (and a lot of the pictures). 

If you look carefully you can see Jack in the picture too - I was about six months pregnant with him. 

In an interesting turn of events, Jack absolutely loves Uncle Rich, and in his mind, I think Aunt Kelly is just the woman Uncle Rich lives with - LOL.

Uncle Rich was the first of a long line of people, things, and situations that I rejected initially, but once I opened my mind and my heart, I realized that he and all of those other things were really and truly blessings in my life. I am thankful both for the realization and for the blessings themselves. 

To Uncle Rich: thank you for being such a great friend and uncle and for being patient with me. I love you and Aunt Kelly both!

28 Days of Thankfulness - Day 19 - Dreams

Jack proudly announced to me via FaceTime earlier this week that when he grows up he wants to be a doctor. Not an eye doctor, or a baby doctor, or any other kind of doctor, but a "regular" doctor. The kind of doctor that you can go to when you are sick, and he will help you. He wants to help people who are sick like Pepa was sick. The word for what Jack may actually want to be is: oncologist. We haven't gotten quite that far yet in the conversation. 

Jack is absolutely intelligent enough to be a doctor, we may need to tweak his bedside manner a little bit.

Jack may change his mind one hundred times before he actually picks or falls into a career. The important part is that he is thinking about what could be, what he could do when he grows up.  I love seeing him so excited about this idea.

Today I am thankful for possibility, for dreams, and for aspirations. I was thinking Jack Edwards sounded presidential when we bestowed that name upon him. Dr. Edwards sounds just as good.

28 Days of Thankfulness - Day 18 - Surprises

I've been in Florida since Monday and it has been a stressful few days.  I left downtown Tampa much later than I planned. I had a 6:30pm flight. The clock on the car said 5:40pm as I pressed the ignition button. I still had to get out of the parking garage, fight Tampa traffic, get gas, return the rental car, check a bag, and get through security. It was seemingly the last flight that would get me home tonight, and it was going to take a miracle for me to make it on time. 

When I stopped for gas I got a text alert that my flight was delayed by 90 minutes.  That meant I was going to make my first flight but miss my connection. If my connection was also delayed, that would mean landing in Windsor Locks around 2am (been there, done that, and I'm already exhausted). I started mulling over the options of whether to stay in Tampa or Atlanta tonight. I decided that to wait until I got to the airport to figure out my next move.

I got to the ticket counter and there were three Delta employees and no customers. I walked up to one of the agents and told him it didn't look like I was getting home tonight. He asked me where I was going, I said Hartford. He smiled and asked me if I wanted to get home tonight. Of course I did, is that even a question? At this point I thought he was just messing with me. He handed me a boarding pass he had already printed. He booked me on another airline. He told me I had about 10 seconds to go check my bag or I would miss the cutoff. I sprinted to the US Airways counter, checked my bag, and I'm headed home. Just like that. To say that I am pleasantly surprised at how my evening turned out is an understatement.

I'm usually the one planning surprises for other people. I'm rarely on the receiving end anymore. Our lives are so planned out, that there is hardly room for the unexpected. In fact, we are encouraged to plan for the unexpected because it does not usually involve good news. I think that is why adults often hate surprises.

I have no idea why I got rebooked tonight. I've been stranded quite a few times, and this has never happened before. It was the highlight (at least so far) of an otherwise mediocre day. I'm usually pretty optimistic. Was I certain I wasn't going to make it back because I'm jaded or because I am realistic? I'm not sure. 

Tonight, I am thankful for surprises (the good kind), and that I'll get to sleep in my own bed, next to my husband, and wake up to hugs from my favorite little girl.

28 Days of Thankfulness - Day 17 - Ice Cream

A few weeks ago, I took Jack and Vivi on a daytrip to Vermont to see some of my favorite people.  I met MaryBeth during my first year of law school at Western New England College School of Law in East Longmeadow, MA.  It was probably the second or third day of class that we decided to work together; we just clicked. At the end of our first year, we both ended up at the top of our class.  MaryBeth transferred to the day division  and I transferred to UCONN. I adore MaryBeth's family. I have the honor and privilege of being one of her daughter Riley's godmothers. 

Riley's third birthday prompted the drive to the "Green Mountain State." It is a long but pretty drive.  There was still some foliage left.  The moose crossing signs make me laugh.  I'm sure if I actually saw a moose, it wouldn't be so funny.
 

 

MaryBeth has four children and there is a large spread in age between some of them (kind of like my family).  When you have a child or two that is significantly older than your other children, you already understand how quickly the time passes.  It makes you appreciate the various stages your younger children are going through.  You know that it is just a phase and that time is short. You really try to savor and celebrate each and every milestone, at least I do.  Riley's birthday was no exception.

 

Riley and Vivi are both still learning how to share.  I would love it if they grew up to be great friends.

 

 

MaryBeth lives in close promixity to the Ben & Jerry's Factory in Waterbury, VT.  I had been there as a teenager and thought it seemed a lot like the chocolate factory in the original Willy Wonka movie.  I remember wondering if I should lick the wallpaper. 

 

I've had a theory since then that ice cream can make anything better, even if its just for a few seconds. If happiness had a taste, the flavor would be ice cream; specifically Peppermint Stick or Coffee Heath Bar Toffee Crunch.  Sarah McLachlan's "Fumbling Towards Ecstasy" CD also came out right around that time, and Bernie and I had just started dating. I used to sing her song, "Ice Cream," to him.  I loved that song about as much as I loved ice cream and Bernie. About a decade later, we played that song at our reception as we cut our wedding cake.

 

I thought Ben & Jerry's would be a fun stop for Jack and Vivi. Unfortunately they don't make ice cream on the weekends, so Jack would tell you that the tour was boring. The sample at the end of the tour was "Stephen Colbert's AmeriCone Dream." Jack wasn't interested because it wasn't chocolate.  We did stop for chocolate at the ice cream stand before we left, but Jack still says he hated the factory.  You just can't make some people happy, I guess - LOL. Not surprisingly, he was less than cooperative for pictures, but I did manage to get a few cute ones.

 

 I love this one because Jack told Vivi to hide, and she did!

 

These two are cute even from the back.  The "PeaceLove&Icecream" sign made me smile.

Vivi was standing right up there next to Jack.  She just wasn't tall enough to make the picture.

 

 

Today I am thankful for all the little things that make life sweeter, like birthday parties and  ice cream!

28 Days of Thankfulness - Day 16 - My Grandparents

My grandparents met in high school and have been married for 62 years. They have 3 children, 16 grandchildren (plus an additional 18 if you count step-grandchildren, spouses and significant others), 16 great-grandchildren, 3 step great-grandchildren, and 2 more great-grandchildren coming in the next two months. They have lived all over the country. They have faced numerous challenges over the years, but always manage to face them together. They are a shining example of a true partnership.

They both have a very strong work ethic. If something needs to be done, it gets done. No excuses. They are heavily involved in their community and their church, always giving back, always willing to lend a hand. They have much wisdom and experience to share. I have learned more from them than I probably even realize.

Most grandparents and grandchildren have a special bond. I see that with my own kids and their grandparents. I see that in my friends who have already become grandparents. I am the oldest (not sure how much longer I am going to be willing to admit that) and I spent a lot of time with my grandparents as a child. They will often make the mistake of introducing me as their daughter and then have to correct themselves. I always take that as a compliment.

I am truly thankful that I have my grandparents and that my children have the privilege of really getting to know their great-grandparents. I keep telling them that they have to live to be 100 at least. They laugh at me, but I just can't imagine my life without them.

(Photo by Jodi Totten).

28 Days of Thankfulness - Day 15 - Bernie

I think I mentioned a few weeks back that I was going to run the Philly Half Marathon.  It is tomorrow.  There was a change in plans and I need to be in Florida on Monday for work, so I decided not to run.  Logistically it was just too difficult to make it all happen.  I decided instead to leave a little bit early and stop in and see my grandparents.  I am so glad I did.  Plus, I'm not feeling very well, so running 13.1 miles tomorrow would have been difficult.

 

Bernie doesn't get a break at all when I travel.  At the very least, I try to make sure he has one kid-free day on the weekends.  Because I am in Georgia, that isn't going to happen this weekend. I am grateful that he encouraged me to come here.

and he's handsome too - did I mention that?

Today alone, while I was enroute to the North Georgia Mountains, he got the kids to help him clean up the yard, then took them to the school to so Jack could ride his bike, and then they made cookies.  Not just any type of cookies, but cookies in the shape of Star Wars ships.  He made them using cookie cutters he and Jack picked up at Williams Sonoma last night. How great are these?

A Huffington Post blog about marriage by Seth Smith was re-posted and commented on a lot last week. The blog is mainly about how you don't marry someone to make yourself happy, you marry them so you can make them happy.  I think Bernie could have written the article himself.  He spends a lot of time putting the rest of us first, and doing whatever he can to try to make us happy. I definitely don't tell him enough, just how much I appreciate all that he does.

Tonight I am thankful that I am married to such an amazing husband, father, and friend.  I love you, Bernie!

 

 

28 Days of Thankfulness - Day 14 - Faith

 I am Lutheran.  Bernie is Catholic.  There are many more similarities in those two religions than there are differences.  In fact, I think at their very core, most religions lead to the same general teachings and tenets regardless of whether you worship God, a god or gods, Buddha, Allah or whomever. One of the things that drives me crazy about organized religion is the attitude of superiority.  I don't understand how one brand of religion can decide it is superior to others.

 

In the beginning of our relationship, I was very much committed to my church and wanted Bernie to convert. I felt so strongly about it, our agreement was that Nick could have Bernie's last name if I could baptize him in my church. Since we were not married at the time, my grandfather was disappointed about this deal. He wanted a boy to carry on the Reifschneider name - something he is still waiting for almost eighteen years later (my brother is the only son of an only son). Somewhere along the way Nick said he would change is last name to Reifschneider if my brother did not have any boys.  I just don't see that happening now.  Plus, there is still hope for my brother.

 

Nick was baptized at Concordia Lutheran Church in Manchester, CT - the church I was confirmed in, and where Bernie and I would eventually marry.  I wanted my youth advisor, John Brock to perform the baptism.  He had to get special permission from the Bishop to do this since he was still in seminary.  He came all the way from Pennsylvania to do the honors. Bernie's brother Gary had been in Jerusalem and brought back Holy Water for us to use.  My Dad sang "Borning Cry" by John Ylvisaker.  

 

I was pretty good about staying involved in church until Bernie and I moved to Montville and the drive was just too much. I wasn't really ready to find a new church, and when I started working nights, it became almost impossible to attend anyway.

 

We eventually attended a Lutheran church closer to our house but Sunday mornings are difficult, and after a few months, we just stopped going.



Who are those two kids that are purporting to be parents?

 

By the time Jack was born, my mom had been ordained several years and was the obvious choice to perform his baptism.  He was baptized at her church, a Lutheran church, shortly after his first birthday.  We couldn't find the Holy Water (although it is still in our basement somewhere), and the congregation sang "Borning Cry."

 



 

 

After Jack's baptism, we started attending the Catholic Church about a mile from our house. We attended weekly services for several months. They have a very casual Sunday evening service where you can come as you are, and noisy kids are welcome and expected. I'm not sure why we stopped attending, we probably need to go back. 

 

I wanted Nick to be confirmed but there was not a good way for him to take classes.  The Catholic church wanted him to catch up on all the years he missed, and he wasn't really interested.  I think part of him believes he is Lutheran and would follow through with confirmation if there was a relatively easy way to move forward.  I feel guilty that Nick hasn't been confirmed but I know he has a solid base of religion after having four years of Catholic theology as part of his high school curriculum.

 

Vivian was named after my grandmother, and my grandparents helped to build the Lutheran church they attend. I wanted Vivian to be baptized in their church and she was.  Their leader, Pastor Cheryl was there for all of us when my grandfather was undergoing cancer treatment. My grandmother sang "Borning Cry;" she also sang this at our wedding.

 

 

The only time we go to church nowadays is when we are in Georgia.  Sad, I know.  As Jack will be starting Kindergarten next year, we need to start going so that he can stay on track with his religious education.  We need to pick a church and make a commitment,  Part of the problem is that I am not entirely comfortable in a Catholic Church and Bernie isn't all that comfortable in a Lutheran Church.  Maybe we need to meet in the middle and find an Episcopal church.

 

Part of my issue with any church is how much hypocrisy and scandal there seems to be.  I have a real problem with the "do as I say, not as I do" mentality.  Shouldn't we just walk the walk?  Do we really need a church to tell us to pray, to forgive, to seek forgiveness and to follow the golden rule?  Sometimes we probably do.

 

I am amazed and impressed by Jack's seemingly blind faith.  He has a lot of questions about a lot of things, but he wholeheartedly believes there is a heaven, and that someday we will all be there.  Maybe he is wise beyond his years, maybe it is developmentally appropriate, maybe both.

 

I believe there is a God.  I believe there is life after death.  I believe my prayers are heard and answered in ways that I don't always understand.  I am thankful for my faith, as unconventional as it may or may not be. Faith is a source of hope and comfort when things aren't going the way that you hope or expected.  Somehow things always seem to work themselves out in the end.  There always seems to be a plan, even if it isn't mine.

28 Days of Thankfulness - Day 13 - Freedom

Veteran's Day used to be just another day on the calendar for me.  I am ashamed to admit that.  Some years I would even curse the fact that there was no school and I needed to arrange for a back-up child care arrangement for Nick.  This year was different and every year going forward will be different too.

 

This year we truly began to understand what Ed's military career meant to him. At one point he was at the hospital with Bernie.  One of the nurses figured out that he was a veteran and thanked him for his service.  That simple display of gratitude made Ed's day. 

 

Ed's wishes for his funeral were simple.  He wanted red roses and to be buried with military honors.  We were able to fulfill both requests.  I had seen military funerals on television, but I had never witnessed one first hand.  It was incredibly moving - all of it - from the playing of taps, to the folding of the flag and handing it to Bernie's mom, to the firing of the three volleys.   Steeped in formality and tradition, it was one of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed.

 

The military wasn't something Ed talked about very often.  Unfortunately we don't know much about the 20+ years he spent in the Navy.  I'm hoping at some point maybe his brother or someone he served with will be able to fill in the gaps.

 

 

If you have a veteran in your family, I encourage you to get the details of their stories while it is still possible.  Case in point: my cousin found this awesome picture of my grandfather from when he was in the Navy, posted it on Facebook on Monday and thanked him for his service.  Not posting the story behind the photo, led to some of my other cousins questioning what he did in the Navy, where he was, whether he was a pilot, and why the plane seemed to be named after him at least in part.  Fortunately for us my grandfather was able to answer all of those questions.

 

My grandfather, Phillip Reifschneider, who is every bit as handsome today as he was in that picture, was a plane captain, not a pilot. Rip was a nickname, short for Reifschneider. They put the names of the plane captains on the planes they worked on.  He isn't sure why it was done that way but it was.  The marks on the plane represent the number of missions that the plane flew.  He was on the aircraft carrier, USS Philippine Sea during the Korean War.

 

I get goosebumps now when I see uniformed military personnel on my flights.  I hope they are going home to their families.  When I can do so without seeming like a lunatic, I ask them where they are headed and what their work entails.  I make it a point to thank them for their service.  To Ed, to Grandpa, and to my veteran friends that are reading this blog: thank you for your service.

 

Our servicemen and women make incredible, selfless sacrifies every single day in order to protect our freedom, for that I am thankful, and not just on Veteran's Day.

28 Days of Thankfulness - Day 12 - Food

Oftentimes I come back from New Orleans with five extra pounds and a hangover. Many people would say both are signs of a good trip. I'm happy to report that I only gained two pounds this time, and I did not have a hangover as I boarded the plane to come home. Yeah for small miracles!

There seem to be endless options for food in our country: restaurants, fast food, grocery stores, frozen food, and millions of recipes if you are the type that likes to cook. What I am most thankful for  is that fact that my kids are nourished. Jack is an extremely picky eater. His go-to meal is PB&J. It frustrates me to no end that the boy does not eat, but at least his consumption or lack there of, is his choice.

The number of hungry people in the world, particularly children, weighs heavily on my mind during the holiday season. The pictures coming back from the Phillipines are unbearable. I can't fathom waking up one morning to whole cities flattened. Parents are left with no resources to provide for the basic needs of those who depend on them the most. It's just awful.

There are plenty of ways to help both here and overseas. If everyone does a little something, then cumulatively we can make a big difference. 

We finally met our new niece tonight.  She is adorable. Here she is with Jack:

Tonight I am very thankful that my kids, and little Alex, are going to sleep with full bellies.

28 Days of Thankfulness - Catching Up

Bernie's 40th birthday present from me was a trip to New Orleans to see the Cowboys play the Saints.  I've tried to disconnect from most things the last 4 days, now as we are flying en route to Hartford, it is time to begin re-entry. 

Day 8 - Our Moms

I am thankful for our moms generally, and also that they volunteered to spend a few days with Nick, Jack, Vivi and Jenny. Bernie was able to have a well deserved break from mediating fights, changing diapers, and cooking meals. Without our moms, there is just no way this would have been possible. 

Day 9 - Nick

I am so thankful that Nick was able to help both of our moms take care of the Jack and Vivian. He is a huge help and was able to comfort Vivian when she was missing us. He is a wonderful big brother.

Day 10 - Friends

We are so lucky to be surrounded by so many awesome friends. I am thankful for all of you and thankful that we got to spend some time with a few of you over the last few days.

Day 11 - Jack and Vivian

Being away just makes you appreciate your kids all the more. I can't wait to walk in the door and hug them (Nick too). 

While not a big fan of the party atmosphere of Bourbon Street and to some extent even the Superdome, Bernie has a new appreciation for the artistic culture and the food. New Orleans remains one of my favorite southern cities.

I heard that snow may have fallen across Connecticut this morning. I'll be thankful if it all melts by the time we land!

28 Days of Thankfulness - Day 7 - Coffee

This crazy, busy week has been sponsored by coffee and Diet Coke.  Tonight I am thankful for caffeine and my pillow.

Sleep tight!

28 Days of Thankfulness - Day 6 - Failure

As you might imagine, in the course of my job, I meet an awful lot of interesting people. Yesterday I was before a mediator who was about 85 years old, who had been in lots of interesting positions including judge, police officer, and mayor. He had a lot of things to say, but two things resonated with me:

"Behind every successful man is an awful lot of unsuccessful years." 

and

 "Don't quit before the miracle happens."

It was such a great message to hear, because sometimes I just feel "stuck." I feel like I am not moving forward fast enough in the direction I should be going.

Failure really does breed success. You hear about it all the time. Failure makes you stronger, makes you change direction, makes you consider lots of other possibilities that maybe you otherwise would not. Failure is a blessing in disguise if you don't give up,

Don't give up :-)

For every success in my life, I am thankful for the failures that made them possible. 

28 Days of Thankfulness - Day 5 - Water

My run this morning was about 45 degrees warmer than yesterday (not because summer suddenly returned to Connecticut but because I flew to Florida for a mediation). For a good portion of my run, this was my view:

Regardless of where I am, I always gravitate toward water whether it is a river, a lake, or my favorite: the ocean. Today, I am thankful for water. I am thankful for water to drink, to cook with, to bathe in, to swim in, to play in, to play on, to run near. Water is absolutely essential for life, but yet it is another thing I take for granted. I just expect that when I turn on the faucet, clean, safe water will come out.

To be totally honest, I actually have a love/hate relationship with the ocean. I love to sit next to it, but I hate to go in. Who knows what is lurking in that water (sharks, jellyfish, etc.). Plus the water is often cold (see yesterday's blog for a diatribe on how much I love to be cold), or it is warm but you are cold when you get out. I am not a strong swimmer, in fact, I barely know how to swim. However, I noticed this morning that there are people who get up and surf before work. How awesome is that? I've never been on or around a surfboard but I think I have to try it at some point. I'm officially adding "learn how to surf" to my bucket list (stop laughing Bernie). 

Because no blog post would be complete without a picture of at least one of my beautiful children, here is a picture of Vivian this summer at our annual Hampton Beach trip (note to self and Marybeth - it's time to start taking annual group pictures. We should have started in 2007).

28 Days of Thankfulness - Day 4 - Heat

There are few things I hate more than being cold. Yesterday when I got up to run, it was 20 degrees. I shut my alarm off and went back to sleep, snuggled in my warm blanket.

My threshold for running outside is 32 degrees with the wind chill factored in. Yes, I am a wuss. I prefer the dreadmill to literally freezing my butt off. The treadmill I am currently using is at the gym near my office in Hartford. I can hop on at lunch. I have a treadmill at home but it needs to be repaired, again. It has been a problem from the day it was delivered.  We have a 5-year maintenance plan.  I think we are going to have to call for service every week this winter until they get sick of us and finally opt for replacement. The belt slips, the repair-person comes to fix it, and a week later the belt is slipping again. It is a Nordictrack, and it wasn't inexpensive. It is very frustrating. I got a ton of miles and a good three years out of the Nordictrack before it, which was a 1/2 price floor model. I just don't understand.

Anyway, I thought I was going to get out of running outside this morning. The temperature was exactly 32 degrees, so I had no excuse. I have all the fancy thermal running stuff that is supposed to keep you warm in even colder temperatures, but it doesn't keep me warm, not even a little bit.  My teeth were chattering as I walked the dog. I was a little warmer when I ran, but I swear after 35 minutes, my toes were frozen. Anatomically speaking, I just wasn't built for winter in New England, or technically even fall.

I am lucky though. When I get cold, I can decide when to come into a warm house and take a hot shower (although not too hot initially, I have actually burned my cold skin in the shower before - ouch!). I can make a hot cup of coffee. I get into a warm car, then onto a warm bus (usually), and walk into a warm office. I can put on a sweater and/or a blanket when the indoor temperature isn't quite  as warm as I'd like. I don't have to worry about winter approaching and my kids being cold.

Today, I am thankful for heat. It is something that I take for granted just about all the time, but that I really don't think I could survive without. 

For information on how to help Connecticut families who have difficulty affording heat, check out, www.operationalfuel.org or visit Operation Fuel on Facebook.

I don't have a picture for "heat." Here is a picture I took over the weekend that I think is really cute and shows some "warmth" between siblings.

Vivi is still running a fever and will probably need to go to the doctor tomorrow just to make sure she doesn't have a ear infection or anything else. It spiked a little under 103 degrees today. It is still concerning but not quite as worrisome as yesterday.