A Matter of Trust

Your kids learn to trust you at a very early age.  It’s a process that takes place without much thought.  Your baby cries, you pick her up. When she is hungry, you feed her. When she is wet you change her.  When she is tired, you rock her to sleep.  When she throws her toys on the ground, you retrieve them.  As she grows, the tasks change, but the process continues. You child relies on you for everything, and you are the center of her universe.  Studies have shown that even as teenagers, parents have more influence over their kids than any other, including peers and the media. For better or for worse, children model the behavior of their parents.  As I am completing my mental “to do” list everyday, I am simply doing what needs to be done and not really thinking about how my action or inaction is molding how my kids perceive and interact with the world and with me. That is, until something stops you in your tracks and reminds you, I had one of those moments this past weekend.

We went to Sesame Place. When I say “we” I mean Bernie, Jack, Vivian, and I.  Nick understandably decided to sit out this adventure.  It was our first family trip without him and we definitely missed having him with us.  This was my third trip to the amusement park geared toward the juice box set.  I had gone once with my parents when Gayle and Brian were little; and Bernie and I took Nick there in 1999 when he was three.  I was not able to find pictures of the previous visits to post.  We do have a VHS Tape of a live show that Bernie and Nick participated in.  They both had to follow directions of the Sesame Place crew against a blue screen and did not find out the plot until it was all put together at the end. As part of the skit, Bernie was supposed to “catch” Zoe. He missed and she fell to the ground.  Nick thought it was hysterical that Daddy dropped Zoe. When we got home, Nick watched that video tape over and over again.  We were hoping to do something similar with Jack, but either we could not find it, or Sesame Place does not offer that attraction anymore.

It was interesting to contrast our visit to Sesame Place with Nick to our visit with Jack.  They have very different personalities. Nick was not interested in any of the thrill rides; he really just wanted to play in the water.  The second ride Jack got in line for was the tallest water ride in the park. When Nick found something he liked, it was impossible to get him to move on. He just enjoyed what he was doing and not worried at all about whether he was missing something.  Jack on the other hand, had to have a plan.  Here he is plotting out his next move on the map:

It was also interesting to contrast Bernie and I as parents navigating through the park 13 years ago as opposed to now.  In 1999, we didn’t have GPS.  We got completely lost and somehow ended up in some interesting neighborhoods of Philadelphia in the middle of the night. We were at the park from open to close, trying to pack everything into one day. We tried to eat in the overcrowded, overpriced restaurants, frustrated when we stood in line for what seemed like an hour only to find there was no where to sit. I wanted Nick to meet all the characters and try all the rides, and was irritated that he had a much different idea of how to explore.  We struggled financially when Nick was little and taking him there was a special treat.  I wasn’t sure we’d ever be able to go back, and I didn’t want him to miss anything. We ended the day sunburned, dehydrated and completely exhausted.

This time we had a much better idea of where we were going, and arrived at our hotel less than a mile from the park, in time to put everyone to bed at a somewhat reasonable hour.  This time, we ate breakfast in our room and brought snacks to the park.  We got a later start and stayed until the afternoon parade.  We ordered a late lunch/early dinner for pick up and went back to our room to eat it and relax for a few hours.  We then went back to the park to try some dry rides and see the nighttime parade.  Sunday morning we checked out of the hotel and went back to the park for a few hours before heading home.  We still packed a lot into the weekend, but we let Jack guide us and we did everything at a much more relaxed pace.  My only goal was for Jack to have fun.  The very different thing about this trip was that we had a baby with us.  Vivian was great all weekend, as she usually is.  There isn’t much for a three month old to do at Sesame Place. Much of the time, Bernie did things with Jack while I took care of Vivian and took lots of pictures.

Here Jack and Bernie are floating in Big Bird’s Rambling River.  Although the water was freezing (as it was throughout the park), Jack said this was one of his favorite parts:

In this picture, Jack could make the train move, but instead he is making Daddy do all the work:

Here is Jack in the wave pool.  This is the water feature that Nick absolutely loved:

Jack loved climbing “Cookie Mountain” and sliding down:

He also enjoyed jumping on “Ernie’s bed”:

Jack was not really into the characters this time.  We really didn’t try to get pictures with the characters since we got so many great ones when we were at Busch Gardens in March. He wanted to meet the Count but we couldn’t seem to make that happen. Here is one of Cookie Monster (Bernie’s favorite) in the parade:

There is a “neighborhood” that looks like the actual set of Sesame Street.  Here, Jack and Bernie are on the fire truck:

Here is a picture of Jack and I on the carousel, just to prove I was actually there!

Here are a few of Vivian.  In the first one she is waiting for the parade to start. In the second one, she is sleeping while I wear her around the park in the Ergo carrier.

My favorite part of the trip, and where Jack reminded me that Bernie and I are truly the center of his universe, was on the Nets and Climbs attraction.  Jack wanted to go on it, and I could tell from the look on Bernie’s face that he did not.  Bernie found a bench and gave Vivi a bottle while Jack and I climbed the stairs to the top of the three story high structure. You can see through the nets from the top all the way down to the bottom.  It is a maze connected by tunnels. There is no physical way to fall through the nets (unless they fail) and there is a safety net underneath just in case. The nets are slanted downward toward the center, so that you have to go down into the net to start and then climb up to get to the next platform or level.  Jack needed help getting started but then took off like a pro.  As we headed into one of the tunnels, he froze.  He looked down, saw how high we were, then looked at me with those big baby blue eyes and said, “Mommy, I’m scared. I don’t want to fall.” It is not easy getting your footing on the nets, and it is a little frightening when you stop and think about how high you really are.  I told Jack to take my hand, and not to worry, that I had him, and that I was not going to let him fall. I could see him begin relax. I was not entirely sure I could prevent him from falling, but I knew he needed the reassurance, and that if he did fall he wasn’t going very far. He was very tentative with his movements, but he kept going. When we finally got to the other side, he was beaming.  He was so proud of himself, he couldn’t wait to do it again.  Here is a picture of him up there that I took with my iphone, I had to hold on to him to keep him upright in order to snap the photo.

We did climb the nets a second time.  Jack was a little more confident but still needed some hand holding and encouragement.  I am so proud of him for getting out of his comfort zone and finding the courage to keep going, and to even try it again!  In his moment of hesitation I was reminded of just how much influence I have on him.  If he didn’t trust me, we might still be stuck up there in those nets.  I was able to talk him through the obstacle without a major meltdown. This showed me that he does actually listen when I talk to him despite the tantrums and the selective hearing (I swear sometimes I think I am talking to myself – LOL). All of those little, seemingly insignificant moments of parenthood, go a long way when it really matters – when your kids are actually in danger, or just believe that they are. I read somewhere recently that if you don’t pay attention when your kids try to tell you “little things,” they won’t talk to you when they need help with “big things,” because to them the little things have always been big things. So true! I am guilty of tuning Jack out when it seems like he won’t stop talking or there are “more important” things that need my attention. Our time on the nets reminded me that I can be a better teacher and a better example if I spend more time actively listening and addressing what is important to him.  Once again, I think I am learning more from my kids than they are from me.

We had a great weekend.  Jack was sad to leave.  He wanted to live right there in Langhorne, PA.  He is looking forward to going back to Sesame Place when his little sister is big enough to go on the rides and play in the water with him.