28 Days of Thankfulness - Day 19 - Dreams

Jack proudly announced to me via FaceTime earlier this week that when he grows up he wants to be a doctor. Not an eye doctor, or a baby doctor, or any other kind of doctor, but a "regular" doctor. The kind of doctor that you can go to when you are sick, and he will help you. He wants to help people who are sick like Pepa was sick. The word for what Jack may actually want to be is: oncologist. We haven't gotten quite that far yet in the conversation. 

Jack is absolutely intelligent enough to be a doctor, we may need to tweak his bedside manner a little bit.

Jack may change his mind one hundred times before he actually picks or falls into a career. The important part is that he is thinking about what could be, what he could do when he grows up.  I love seeing him so excited about this idea.

Today I am thankful for possibility, for dreams, and for aspirations. I was thinking Jack Edwards sounded presidential when we bestowed that name upon him. Dr. Edwards sounds just as good.

28 Days of Thankfulness - Day 18 - Surprises

I've been in Florida since Monday and it has been a stressful few days.  I left downtown Tampa much later than I planned. I had a 6:30pm flight. The clock on the car said 5:40pm as I pressed the ignition button. I still had to get out of the parking garage, fight Tampa traffic, get gas, return the rental car, check a bag, and get through security. It was seemingly the last flight that would get me home tonight, and it was going to take a miracle for me to make it on time. 

When I stopped for gas I got a text alert that my flight was delayed by 90 minutes.  That meant I was going to make my first flight but miss my connection. If my connection was also delayed, that would mean landing in Windsor Locks around 2am (been there, done that, and I'm already exhausted). I started mulling over the options of whether to stay in Tampa or Atlanta tonight. I decided that to wait until I got to the airport to figure out my next move.

I got to the ticket counter and there were three Delta employees and no customers. I walked up to one of the agents and told him it didn't look like I was getting home tonight. He asked me where I was going, I said Hartford. He smiled and asked me if I wanted to get home tonight. Of course I did, is that even a question? At this point I thought he was just messing with me. He handed me a boarding pass he had already printed. He booked me on another airline. He told me I had about 10 seconds to go check my bag or I would miss the cutoff. I sprinted to the US Airways counter, checked my bag, and I'm headed home. Just like that. To say that I am pleasantly surprised at how my evening turned out is an understatement.

I'm usually the one planning surprises for other people. I'm rarely on the receiving end anymore. Our lives are so planned out, that there is hardly room for the unexpected. In fact, we are encouraged to plan for the unexpected because it does not usually involve good news. I think that is why adults often hate surprises.

I have no idea why I got rebooked tonight. I've been stranded quite a few times, and this has never happened before. It was the highlight (at least so far) of an otherwise mediocre day. I'm usually pretty optimistic. Was I certain I wasn't going to make it back because I'm jaded or because I am realistic? I'm not sure. 

Tonight, I am thankful for surprises (the good kind), and that I'll get to sleep in my own bed, next to my husband, and wake up to hugs from my favorite little girl.

28 Days of Thankfulness - Day 17 - Ice Cream

A few weeks ago, I took Jack and Vivi on a daytrip to Vermont to see some of my favorite people.  I met MaryBeth during my first year of law school at Western New England College School of Law in East Longmeadow, MA.  It was probably the second or third day of class that we decided to work together; we just clicked. At the end of our first year, we both ended up at the top of our class.  MaryBeth transferred to the day division  and I transferred to UCONN. I adore MaryBeth's family. I have the honor and privilege of being one of her daughter Riley's godmothers. 

Riley's third birthday prompted the drive to the "Green Mountain State." It is a long but pretty drive.  There was still some foliage left.  The moose crossing signs make me laugh.  I'm sure if I actually saw a moose, it wouldn't be so funny.
 

 

MaryBeth has four children and there is a large spread in age between some of them (kind of like my family).  When you have a child or two that is significantly older than your other children, you already understand how quickly the time passes.  It makes you appreciate the various stages your younger children are going through.  You know that it is just a phase and that time is short. You really try to savor and celebrate each and every milestone, at least I do.  Riley's birthday was no exception.

 

Riley and Vivi are both still learning how to share.  I would love it if they grew up to be great friends.

 

 

MaryBeth lives in close promixity to the Ben & Jerry's Factory in Waterbury, VT.  I had been there as a teenager and thought it seemed a lot like the chocolate factory in the original Willy Wonka movie.  I remember wondering if I should lick the wallpaper. 

 

I've had a theory since then that ice cream can make anything better, even if its just for a few seconds. If happiness had a taste, the flavor would be ice cream; specifically Peppermint Stick or Coffee Heath Bar Toffee Crunch.  Sarah McLachlan's "Fumbling Towards Ecstasy" CD also came out right around that time, and Bernie and I had just started dating. I used to sing her song, "Ice Cream," to him.  I loved that song about as much as I loved ice cream and Bernie. About a decade later, we played that song at our reception as we cut our wedding cake.

 

I thought Ben & Jerry's would be a fun stop for Jack and Vivi. Unfortunately they don't make ice cream on the weekends, so Jack would tell you that the tour was boring. The sample at the end of the tour was "Stephen Colbert's AmeriCone Dream." Jack wasn't interested because it wasn't chocolate.  We did stop for chocolate at the ice cream stand before we left, but Jack still says he hated the factory.  You just can't make some people happy, I guess - LOL. Not surprisingly, he was less than cooperative for pictures, but I did manage to get a few cute ones.

 

 I love this one because Jack told Vivi to hide, and she did!

 

These two are cute even from the back.  The "PeaceLove&Icecream" sign made me smile.

Vivi was standing right up there next to Jack.  She just wasn't tall enough to make the picture.

 

 

Today I am thankful for all the little things that make life sweeter, like birthday parties and  ice cream!

28 Days of Thankfulness - Day 16 - My Grandparents

My grandparents met in high school and have been married for 62 years. They have 3 children, 16 grandchildren (plus an additional 18 if you count step-grandchildren, spouses and significant others), 16 great-grandchildren, 3 step great-grandchildren, and 2 more great-grandchildren coming in the next two months. They have lived all over the country. They have faced numerous challenges over the years, but always manage to face them together. They are a shining example of a true partnership.

They both have a very strong work ethic. If something needs to be done, it gets done. No excuses. They are heavily involved in their community and their church, always giving back, always willing to lend a hand. They have much wisdom and experience to share. I have learned more from them than I probably even realize.

Most grandparents and grandchildren have a special bond. I see that with my own kids and their grandparents. I see that in my friends who have already become grandparents. I am the oldest (not sure how much longer I am going to be willing to admit that) and I spent a lot of time with my grandparents as a child. They will often make the mistake of introducing me as their daughter and then have to correct themselves. I always take that as a compliment.

I am truly thankful that I have my grandparents and that my children have the privilege of really getting to know their great-grandparents. I keep telling them that they have to live to be 100 at least. They laugh at me, but I just can't imagine my life without them.

(Photo by Jodi Totten).

28 Days of Thankfulness - Day 15 - Bernie

I think I mentioned a few weeks back that I was going to run the Philly Half Marathon.  It is tomorrow.  There was a change in plans and I need to be in Florida on Monday for work, so I decided not to run.  Logistically it was just too difficult to make it all happen.  I decided instead to leave a little bit early and stop in and see my grandparents.  I am so glad I did.  Plus, I'm not feeling very well, so running 13.1 miles tomorrow would have been difficult.

 

Bernie doesn't get a break at all when I travel.  At the very least, I try to make sure he has one kid-free day on the weekends.  Because I am in Georgia, that isn't going to happen this weekend. I am grateful that he encouraged me to come here.

and he's handsome too - did I mention that?

Today alone, while I was enroute to the North Georgia Mountains, he got the kids to help him clean up the yard, then took them to the school to so Jack could ride his bike, and then they made cookies.  Not just any type of cookies, but cookies in the shape of Star Wars ships.  He made them using cookie cutters he and Jack picked up at Williams Sonoma last night. How great are these?

A Huffington Post blog about marriage by Seth Smith was re-posted and commented on a lot last week. The blog is mainly about how you don't marry someone to make yourself happy, you marry them so you can make them happy.  I think Bernie could have written the article himself.  He spends a lot of time putting the rest of us first, and doing whatever he can to try to make us happy. I definitely don't tell him enough, just how much I appreciate all that he does.

Tonight I am thankful that I am married to such an amazing husband, father, and friend.  I love you, Bernie!

 

 

28 Days of Thankfulness - Day 14 - Faith

 I am Lutheran.  Bernie is Catholic.  There are many more similarities in those two religions than there are differences.  In fact, I think at their very core, most religions lead to the same general teachings and tenets regardless of whether you worship God, a god or gods, Buddha, Allah or whomever. One of the things that drives me crazy about organized religion is the attitude of superiority.  I don't understand how one brand of religion can decide it is superior to others.

 

In the beginning of our relationship, I was very much committed to my church and wanted Bernie to convert. I felt so strongly about it, our agreement was that Nick could have Bernie's last name if I could baptize him in my church. Since we were not married at the time, my grandfather was disappointed about this deal. He wanted a boy to carry on the Reifschneider name - something he is still waiting for almost eighteen years later (my brother is the only son of an only son). Somewhere along the way Nick said he would change is last name to Reifschneider if my brother did not have any boys.  I just don't see that happening now.  Plus, there is still hope for my brother.

 

Nick was baptized at Concordia Lutheran Church in Manchester, CT - the church I was confirmed in, and where Bernie and I would eventually marry.  I wanted my youth advisor, John Brock to perform the baptism.  He had to get special permission from the Bishop to do this since he was still in seminary.  He came all the way from Pennsylvania to do the honors. Bernie's brother Gary had been in Jerusalem and brought back Holy Water for us to use.  My Dad sang "Borning Cry" by John Ylvisaker.  

 

I was pretty good about staying involved in church until Bernie and I moved to Montville and the drive was just too much. I wasn't really ready to find a new church, and when I started working nights, it became almost impossible to attend anyway.

 

We eventually attended a Lutheran church closer to our house but Sunday mornings are difficult, and after a few months, we just stopped going.



Who are those two kids that are purporting to be parents?

 

By the time Jack was born, my mom had been ordained several years and was the obvious choice to perform his baptism.  He was baptized at her church, a Lutheran church, shortly after his first birthday.  We couldn't find the Holy Water (although it is still in our basement somewhere), and the congregation sang "Borning Cry."

 



 

 

After Jack's baptism, we started attending the Catholic Church about a mile from our house. We attended weekly services for several months. They have a very casual Sunday evening service where you can come as you are, and noisy kids are welcome and expected. I'm not sure why we stopped attending, we probably need to go back. 

 

I wanted Nick to be confirmed but there was not a good way for him to take classes.  The Catholic church wanted him to catch up on all the years he missed, and he wasn't really interested.  I think part of him believes he is Lutheran and would follow through with confirmation if there was a relatively easy way to move forward.  I feel guilty that Nick hasn't been confirmed but I know he has a solid base of religion after having four years of Catholic theology as part of his high school curriculum.

 

Vivian was named after my grandmother, and my grandparents helped to build the Lutheran church they attend. I wanted Vivian to be baptized in their church and she was.  Their leader, Pastor Cheryl was there for all of us when my grandfather was undergoing cancer treatment. My grandmother sang "Borning Cry;" she also sang this at our wedding.

 

 

The only time we go to church nowadays is when we are in Georgia.  Sad, I know.  As Jack will be starting Kindergarten next year, we need to start going so that he can stay on track with his religious education.  We need to pick a church and make a commitment,  Part of the problem is that I am not entirely comfortable in a Catholic Church and Bernie isn't all that comfortable in a Lutheran Church.  Maybe we need to meet in the middle and find an Episcopal church.

 

Part of my issue with any church is how much hypocrisy and scandal there seems to be.  I have a real problem with the "do as I say, not as I do" mentality.  Shouldn't we just walk the walk?  Do we really need a church to tell us to pray, to forgive, to seek forgiveness and to follow the golden rule?  Sometimes we probably do.

 

I am amazed and impressed by Jack's seemingly blind faith.  He has a lot of questions about a lot of things, but he wholeheartedly believes there is a heaven, and that someday we will all be there.  Maybe he is wise beyond his years, maybe it is developmentally appropriate, maybe both.

 

I believe there is a God.  I believe there is life after death.  I believe my prayers are heard and answered in ways that I don't always understand.  I am thankful for my faith, as unconventional as it may or may not be. Faith is a source of hope and comfort when things aren't going the way that you hope or expected.  Somehow things always seem to work themselves out in the end.  There always seems to be a plan, even if it isn't mine.

28 Days of Thankfulness - Day 13 - Freedom

Veteran's Day used to be just another day on the calendar for me.  I am ashamed to admit that.  Some years I would even curse the fact that there was no school and I needed to arrange for a back-up child care arrangement for Nick.  This year was different and every year going forward will be different too.

 

This year we truly began to understand what Ed's military career meant to him. At one point he was at the hospital with Bernie.  One of the nurses figured out that he was a veteran and thanked him for his service.  That simple display of gratitude made Ed's day. 

 

Ed's wishes for his funeral were simple.  He wanted red roses and to be buried with military honors.  We were able to fulfill both requests.  I had seen military funerals on television, but I had never witnessed one first hand.  It was incredibly moving - all of it - from the playing of taps, to the folding of the flag and handing it to Bernie's mom, to the firing of the three volleys.   Steeped in formality and tradition, it was one of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed.

 

The military wasn't something Ed talked about very often.  Unfortunately we don't know much about the 20+ years he spent in the Navy.  I'm hoping at some point maybe his brother or someone he served with will be able to fill in the gaps.

 

 

If you have a veteran in your family, I encourage you to get the details of their stories while it is still possible.  Case in point: my cousin found this awesome picture of my grandfather from when he was in the Navy, posted it on Facebook on Monday and thanked him for his service.  Not posting the story behind the photo, led to some of my other cousins questioning what he did in the Navy, where he was, whether he was a pilot, and why the plane seemed to be named after him at least in part.  Fortunately for us my grandfather was able to answer all of those questions.

 

My grandfather, Phillip Reifschneider, who is every bit as handsome today as he was in that picture, was a plane captain, not a pilot. Rip was a nickname, short for Reifschneider. They put the names of the plane captains on the planes they worked on.  He isn't sure why it was done that way but it was.  The marks on the plane represent the number of missions that the plane flew.  He was on the aircraft carrier, USS Philippine Sea during the Korean War.

 

I get goosebumps now when I see uniformed military personnel on my flights.  I hope they are going home to their families.  When I can do so without seeming like a lunatic, I ask them where they are headed and what their work entails.  I make it a point to thank them for their service.  To Ed, to Grandpa, and to my veteran friends that are reading this blog: thank you for your service.

 

Our servicemen and women make incredible, selfless sacrifies every single day in order to protect our freedom, for that I am thankful, and not just on Veteran's Day.