Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Happy 21st Anniversary of Your 21st Birthday!

In June of 1994, I was eighteen. I had just graduated from high school and was planning to attend UCONN in the fall. My parents had helped me purchase a new car for my commute, a gold Saturn SL2. I had just gotten my drivers’ license. I loved my car, my freedom, and I especially loved my boyfriend. We had been dating for six months by this time. He had just finished his second year at Eastern Connecticut State University. I was working at Sam Goody in the Buckland Hills Mall (it was a store that sold CDs, tapes, and records – Vivian will never know what these things are). He was working as a third shift security guard at Rocky Neck State Park for the season. Working different shifts on opposite sides of the state was difficult because I wanted to spend every waking moment with him. He was gorgeous with his big smile and electrifying blue eyes. I loved the way he made me laugh and how safe I felt in his arms. When we weren’t together, I would wear his oversized flannel shirts that still smelled like Eternity by Calvin Klein. I was in love and excited about the future.

My boyfriend was turning twenty-one and insisted he didn’t want to have a party. Since we were both still living with our parents, we really didn’t have a place to gather. Making a little more than minimum wage at the time, I couldn’t really afford to throw him a party, but I felt that I had to do something. I rented a camp site at Rocky Neck and invited a small group of friends to come and hang out with us. I brought a tent, some sleeping bags, cake, and some snacks. One of our friends brought adult beverages. My plan was for us to sit on the beach and watch the moon reflect off of Long Island Sound. Alternatively, I thought we could gather in the pavilion, and then camp out under the stars. We arrived after sunset and made our way towards the water. It was a chilly night, as many summer evenings are in Connecticut. Of course, the beach was closed after dark. The pavilion was open, but there was no power. It was too dark inside to stay there. I never thought to bring a flashlight. We were not supposed to be in either place, so the park rangers kicked us out. The rangers had worked at the park for many years and were much older than my boyfriend. They were not going to bend the rules for him. My boyfriend didn’t want the rangers to know he was part of our group, so he would try to hide when they came around. He was afraid he might lose his job if he got caught. We ended up at our campsite with few supplies. Our friends didn’t really know each other, so the conversations were somewhat awkward. It turned out that my boyfriend hated bugs (which seemed to be out in force) and hated camping. I think we all left to go home by midnight. It was decidedly the worst party I had ever attempted. I felt terrible; I just wanted everyone to have a good time.
I had that gathering for Bernie twenty one years ago today. Some things have changed since then. For one, I throw way better parties now. Our friends have grown up with us or met us along the way, so awkward conversations are a thing of the past. My Saturn died many years ago, mostly because I didn’t think you had to change the oil until the oil light came on. We’ve done a fair amount of growing up since then, both individually and together. Of course we haven’t aged at all (yeah, right).
After all these years, some things have stayed the same. Bernie still hates bugs and camping. You are still not allowed to be on the beach after dark at Rocky Neck. I still love my husband. In fact, I love him a little more every day. I still love his blue eyes and how I feel safe in his arms. I love how Vivian feels safe in his arms too. I love how Jack tries to make everyone laugh, just like his dad. I love how Nick inherited Bernie’s sarcasm. On that beach, in 1994, I could never have imagined the life we have built together. I am so thankful that Bernie chose me to be his partner. I am excited about our future. 
 
 

 
Happy 21st Anniversary of your 21st Birthday, Bernie Edwards! I hope that we get to celebrate many more of your birthdays together. I love you!