The Name Game

When we were naming Nicholas, I was against the idea of using family names. I wanted something trendy, unique. I wanted him to have his own name. There were always 2-3 other Chris' in my classes growing up, granted they were usually boys, but I did not want my child to suffer from the same fate. Bernie, on the other hand, wanted to use family names. Being named after his grandfather, he understood the power of that legacy. I threw out name ideas such as Demitri, Skylar or Tristan, names Bernie would have no part of. Bernie was thinking along the lines of Bernard, John, Vernon, Luther, etc. I was working at Hallmark at the Eastbrook Mall and Kristen Granatek was with me the night I discovered the perfect name. We pulled out the baby name book and stumbled upon Nicholas. I knew that was it. Paired with the middle name Joel, it was perfect. I convinced Bernie it would work because among his close friends were a Nicole and a Joel. He shot down the spelling I wanted though, Nickolaus, and the nickname I wanted, Nico, but in the end it was the perfect compromise.

We did not know Nick's gender until he was born.  I had numerous ultrasounds but he refused to show us in advance. Had Nick been a girl, his first name would have been Autumn. Thinking back, that would have been an odd pairing for a February baby, but he was going to be named after a good friend who had been killed in an auto accident a few years earlier, Amy Autumn O'Boyle. Her middle name probably would have been Marie after Bernie's grandmother, though I was lobbying heavily for the modern variation of Marissa.

Although Nicholas was not in the top 20 in 1995, it managed to crack the top 10 in 1996, so there are more Nicks his age than I would have liked, but you can't have everything. Also, his nickname at St. Bernard's is Bernie after his dad, the alumnus. Somehow in the end, Bernie always seems to get his way :-)

Twelve years later when we had Jack, family names were more important to me. Bernie's dad is John and Bernie's middle name is John. Being so common, I wasn't sold on John, but I could live with the variation of Jonathan.  Phillip is prevalent throughout our family tree as it is my grandfather's first name and my Dad's middle name, so it was pretty easy to come up with Jonathan Phillip. I knew in our house that he needed a nickname. Jonathan would be reserved for special occasions like birth announcements, graduations, and of course, when he was in trouble.  Jack isn't exactly a common nickname for Jonathan but its not uncommon either. Bernie's Dad's nickname was Jack when he was in the navy, and my Grandfather's brother is Jack. Jack fits our spunky little three year old.  I can't imagine calling him anything else. Unfortunately there are a ton of Jack's his age, there were three in his class at swimming lessons.  With Jack, Jackson, Jax and Jaxson on the rise, he will no doubt face a lifetime of being Jack E., which is pretty funny because his best friend at daycare, Caroline, already calls him Jackie.

As soon as I found out this baby was a girl, I wanted to name her Vivian after my grandmother.  Bernie quickly agreed.  I love french names and briefly thought about the now fashionable Vivienne.  My mother's middle name is Anne, and had also thought about combining them and using Vivianne.  Both of those spellings, while essentially the same name, felt a little like a knockoff. It just has to be Vivian.  That conviction was further confirmed when I came across this blog post about a woman who named her daughter Dorothy after her grandmother.

Like her brothers, Vivian will need a nickname.  It's already sort of become "little Vivian," my Grandfather smiles when he says that.  Bernie's mom has suggested Vivi, which I love, and my Grandfather calls my grandmother, simply "Viv."  Time will tell what will actually catch on.  The good news is that Vivian has just barely cracked the top 100 baby names, so hopefully other than the family members that share her name, Vivian will be all her own.

The dilemma in naming our daughter is to find the perfect middle name to sandwich between Vivian and Edwards.  There are so many great names out there, but yet none of them seem quite right. As a planner, it is driving me nuts that we don't have this figured out yet.  It could be that we just have to hold her and the right name will come to us.

I've thought about using names with musical meanings: Melody, Harmony, Lyric, Harper, Cadence, Ivory. My grandmother has a gorgeous voice and plays the piano beautifully. My favorite of these is Allegra, but I really don't want to name her after an allergy medication.

I've thought about using family names:  Julia (after Bernie's Aunt Julia), Estelle (after Bernie's Aunt Stella), Millie (after Bernie's Aunt Millie), Amy (both for my friend and my Grandfather's sister), Elythe (my Great Grandmother's first name, and my Grandmother, Vivian's middle name) Anna (pronounced "Anya" after Bernie's great-grandmother), and Marie. My favorite of these is Caroline (after my Aunt Kelly), which means "happy song."  Perfect right?  Nope, Bernie used his power of veto on that one because the Neil Diamond song, "Sweet Caroline," is played at Red Sox Games.

Then there are the names that I like, well, just because I do.  This list includes: Alexis, Ava, Brooke, Elizabeth, Isabelle, Grace, Cosette, and Esme'.  I love Esme', which means love, and is from the J.D. Salinger Book, "For Esme' with Love and Squalor."  Nick says Esme' is not a real name. One of my friends told me that I couldn't use Esme' because it is a character in the Twilight Series.  I haven't seen the movies or read the books, but I suspect she might be right.  It could lead to a lifetime of "no, I did not name her Esme' because of Twilight."

So, here we are.  The top five names on the list right now (and I literally change my mind everyday except for the "Vivian" part) are, (in alphabetical order):

• Vivian Amelia Edwards (Amelia being a combination of Amy and Millie, with the strong feminist namesake, Amelia Earhart)
• Vivian Amelie Edwards (Amelie being being pronounced like Emily, but with a short a sound at the beginning - for all the same reasons as Amelia but without the "a" sound at the end which doesn't work so well with Edwards)
• Vivian Avril Edwards (Avril is the french form of April so I would only use it if she were born in that month, and after having some preterm labor yesterday, we will be thankful if she has an April birthdate. This also works well because it is only two syllables and Vivian is such a strong first name)
• Vivian Karlee Edwards (my dad's name is Karl, and it also uses "Lee" which was my great-grandmother, Elythe's nickname, and is my cousin's middle name. It also has the two-syllable advantage)
• Vivian Olivia Edwards (Bernie's great-grandfather was Olivier)

I know I am asking for trouble here because everyone has an opinion. We were originally not going to share our names to actually cut back on opinions - LOL.  I am really stuck though.  Is there one you really like?  Is there a name I am overlooking?