Praying

On May 12th, Bernie and I went to bed early and exhausted from the challenges of being new parents for the third time. Bernie's phone rang around 11:30pm. Woken from a deep slumber to a number he didn't recognize, he was reluctant to answer the call. It was one of those phone calls that you hope you never get, that you pray is a wrong number, the kind of phone call where you are never quite the same after you say goodbye.

The voice on the other end of the phone was Bernie's one and only sibling, Gary. Gary had been in a horrible car accident. He was extracted from the car with the Jaws of Life and flown via Lifestar to the hospital. His injuries were extensive and he was listed in serious condition.  Not really knowing what to expect upon arrival, Bernie flew out to Kentucky to do whatever he could to help his brother.

After undergoing multiple surgeries and spending ten days in the hospital, Gary was released yesterday to be cared for and undergo physical therapy at the seminary where he's been working the past few years.  We are incredibly thankful for the progress he has made so far.  With his own preserverance and strength combined with the power of the prayers everyone has been saying for him, we are hopeful that he will make a full recovery. 

Photo Challenge #19 is: Letting Go of Perfect. This is something that our entire family has been challenged with since Gary's accident.  In a perfect world, he would not be 965 miles away.  He would be here with us so that we could visit him, care for him, and help him on his long road to recovery.  The world isn't perfect and those that love him the most are prevented from being there because of health issues, school exams, and family commitments. 

Things are not perfect at my house either.  Having a brand new baby and Bernie being away has been challenging.  We've been figuring it out one day at a time.  It helps to know that the separation is temporary.  It gives me a lot of admiration and respect for our military families who are separated for extended periods of time.  While we have missed him, Gary needed Bernie more than we did, and Bernie will be on his way home later today.  He is leaving Gary in good hands, and hopefully we will all get to see Gary in the very near future.  He needs to meet his brand new niece.

This picture was not taken this week.  I took it last summer when Gary was home for a visit.  It is hard to get a group picture, particularly when it includes Jack who may or may not cooperate.  This is definitely not the perfect shot that you hope for, but it still captures a moment in time and it helped Jack remember Uncle Gary even though its been several months since he's seen him.

The other person who would be here to care for in a perfect world, is my grandfather.  He is undergoing surgery on his spine as I write this and could also use lots of positive thoughts and prayers. I wish I could be there, if for no other reason, just to give him a hug.

My grandfather loves to travel, I think that might be a genetic trait.  It is not unusual for him and my grandmother to spend months on the road in their motorhome.  There are many places he loves to visit and a few he doesn't like.  Connecticut happens to be one of his least favorite places, although I would argue that some of his favorite people are here.  His biggest gripe with Connecticut is the toll you have to pay in New York to get into our state.  It's not even a Connecticut toll!  Their travel has been sidelined the past few years due to some health issues.  He said at this point he just wants to get in his motorhome and go anywhere, even Connecticut!  I am praying that after this surgery, he makes a full recovery and gets a break from his doctors for while.  If I can get him and Grandma up here, I may never let them leave :-)

Here is another picture with Jack, that isn't quite the perfect shot, the perfect expression, or the perfect angle.  Yet its perfect in my eyes because it captures two boys that I absolutely adore, blowing bubbles.

I skipped Photo Challenge #17: Green, during the craziness of the past few weeks. Being home with the baby, I noticed for the first time since we lived here (almost seven years), that we have hydrangea growing in the yard.  I really like those flowers.  It is amazing how much you miss when you are busy.  I had planned to post a picture of my hydrangea plant in response to the challenge.  However, when Bernie sent me flowers yesterday, I knew that I had to post a picture of those instead. I love Calla Lillies. They were the flowers I used for our wedding.  The calla lillies I received yesterday were beautiful shades of pink and purple.   I'm posting a picture here for now of just the flowers, but when Vivian wakes up from her morning nap, I may try to take some pictures of her surrounded by the calla lillies (which will likely be another exercise in admiring not-so-perfect photographs). 

There is a little bit of "green" in there if you look carefully - LOL.

The past few weeks have been an interesting balance of celebration and concern.  Mostly though, it all just makes you appreciate life and want to hold your close ones even closer. We would be grateful if you could include Gary and my Grandfather in your prayers.

A Baby Story

Photo Challenge No. 18 is Makes You Happy. It makes me very happy to introduce Vivian Caroline Edwards.  She entered our lives and our hearts on May 5, 2012 at 4:29pm.  She weighed 9lbs, 9oz and was 21 1/2 inches long.  She beat both of her brothers in terms of length and weight, but was also the latest of the three arriving at 40 weeks and 4 days. May 5th this year was Cinco De Mayo (as it always is), but was also Kentucky Derby Day, and the super moon made an appearance, allegedly the largest full moon in twenty years.  It was a special day by all accounts.

Friday night we went to Chilis for dinner, Nick went to see his girlfriend perform in a play at school, and we stopped at the casino to place very small bets on horses racing in the Kentucky Derby.  I never look at the stats and pick only by horses names.  I picked "Went the Day Well," since that was my hope for Saturday.  Bernie ended up picking, "I'll Have Another" which went on to be the winner of both the Derby and the Preakness, and now has a chance to win at Belmont and become a triple crown winner.   

I had mixed feelings about being induced.  I was extremely uncomfortable and ready for the pregnancy to be over, but on the same token, I wanted her to come on her own timetable.  I was having almost constant contractions which were making some change to my cervix but not enough to be considered "active labor."  We scheduled the induction for May 5th, but I hoped she would come on her own before that.  My doctors were not comfortable with me going much past forty weeks given my history of big babies and my blood pressure which seemed to keep creeping up during this pregnancy.

We called labor and delivery at Middlesex Hospital at 6:30am on Saturday, May 5th and they indicated that they had room for us.  If it had been too busy, we would have had to postpone the induction.  We arrived at the hospital at 7:30am, and we were running late, so I skipped breakfast (very bad idea).  I understand that by noon, they were having to put patients on other floors because it had gotten so busy. Joan was my first nurse.  She lives in the same town we do, and her daughter went to school with Nick when he was in the public school system.  She was a great nurse!  She hooked me up to the monitor and I was contracting so much, it was almost too much to start the pitocin.  My cervix was soft and starting to dilate (more than it previously had) and we started the pitocin on very low.  I thought we would have a baby by noon but the hours dragged on.  I was so bored at one point that I sent Bernie out to the Redbox to get DVDs.  We watched "Crazy, Stupid, Love" while we waited for things to get going.

It took until almost 2pm to get to 4.5 - 5cm. I knew that I wanted an epidural but at that point, I wasn't in enough pain to warrrant one.  We decided to go ahead and put it in before Dr. Bony broke my water.  Dr. Bony also delivered Jack, and is part of the practice I have been with since I was pregnant with Nick, Crescent Street OBGYN.  I highly recommend them if you are looking for a doctor.

My epidurals with my previous two children did not go that well.  They both left a window of pain in my stomach.  With Nick, I did not know that they could fix it, so I was in a lot of pain through his delivery.  With Jack, as soon as I realized it was happening, we called the anesthesiologist back three times before it was finally right.  The epidural this time went in like a dream and I didn't feel anything until it was time to push. My blood pressure did drop pretty significantly with the epidural and I did need some medication to bring it back up, but it leveled off pretty quickly.  With the previous epidurals, it was several hours after delivery before I was allowed to get out of bed.  With this one, I was up within an hour or so.

The epidural went in, Dr. Bony broke my water, and the pitocin was increased.  I was resting pretty comfortably until I felt the need to push.  When they checked my cervix, they realized I had gone from 5cm to 9 1/2cm in less than an hour.  It was a bit of mad dash to get the room set up for delivery.  At Middlesex you deliver in the same room that you labor in, recover in, and stay in for the duration of your hospital visit.  It's nice because you don't have to be moved at all unless you need to Caesarean section. Everyone got into place and I pushed for less than ten minutes before we got to meet little Vivian.  There was a bit of a scare that her shoulders might be stuck but I changed positions a little bit and she came out without incident.

My mom had been in the area to sample food offerings at The Society Room, where my brother, Brian and his fiancee', Gina are getting married in November.  Mom stopped at the hospital on her way home and saw Vivian within twenty minutes of being born.  Nick and Jack came to the hospital with Bernie's parents very shortly after that.  We were discharged after the standard two day hospital stay, she has been doing great at nursing although we are a little concerned about fluctuations in weight (she would rather sleep than eat).  Both of her big brothers adore her.  Jack is definitely feeling a little jealous of all the time I spend with her, but he has been nothing but sweet and caring towards her.

I know many of you might be wondering how we ended up with the middle name Caroline after Bernie didn't want to use it due to the Neil Diamond song and the affiliation with the Red Sox.  I think I explained in a previous blog that Caroline is my aunt's name (although she pronounces it like Carolyn), and that the meaning is "happy song."  Bernie's Aunt Millie and Uncle Vernon lived in South Carolina and he spent many happy summer vacations at their home.  So, Caroline for Bernie is reminiscent of South Carolina.  Also, while I was in labor, the South Carolina Game Cocks, the team Uncle Vernon followed, was playing on ESPN in the College World Series.  It is very rare that the Game Cocks are broadcast in Connecticut, so he took that as a sign that Vivian's middle name should in fact be Caroline. 

Brian Regan is a comedian that Bernie, Nick and I enjoy and have seen live.  He does a skit about names and whether the name Caroline is prounounced Carolyn or Caroline.  I think Bernie envisions calling her Vivian Carolyn when she is about seven and her correcting him, "no daddy, its Vivian CaroLINE!"

Here are some pictures from shortly after birth and from the photo shoot we did on May 18th.