“I Want To Be An Idiot Too!”

Photography Challenge 3 is: The OTHER side of the camera. The premise behind the challenge is that those of us who like to take pictures of our family or experiences end up having far fewer pictures of ourselves since we are not in front of the lens, but rather, behind the camera. We were supposed to take a self-portrait. I totally cheated. There are pictures of me here, but they were taken by Bernie or Nick.

I have never liked the way that pictures of me come out. I don’t have a self-esteem problem (although we probably all do on some level), I just don’t think I am photogenic. I don’t feel like pictures actually capture “me.” Pictures of my normal non-pregnant self is one thing, but pictures of me pregnant? No, thank you. Yet, I have come to realize that even if I don’t like to be in pictures, my kids would probably like some hard evidence in the future that their mom did really exist and she was participating in the crazy adventures of their collective childhoods.

I had wanted to document this pregnancy. In a way that I really hope does not come back to bite me, I’ve declared that after this little one is born, the “baby factory” is officially closed. This pregnancy has been particularly difficult almost from the beginning. I am not sure if it is because the baby is a girl (one of those old wives tales), or if it is because I am now “advanced maternal age.” It started with awful morning sickness and has culminated in migraines and elevated blood pressure, exhaustion and frequent contractions which may or may not lead to actual pre-term labor. Oh, and then there is the pregnancy insomnia which has led to this post being composed at a ridiculous hour. I am trying very hard not to complain, at least not too much. No one said pregnancy was easy, and I know many, many women who have had a much more difficult time than I am having. The only thing that really matters at this point is a healthy outcome.

When I saw the photography challenge posted, I thought it would be a good time to capture some pregnancy photos. It was 40 degrees and sunny yesterday, so we packed up the kids and headed to Rocky Neck State Park. Granted, it is about 10 degrees cooler at the shore and the wind was not calm, so it was much colder than any of us would have preferred.

Here are some of the pictures, taken at 26w 5d.

Here is a picture of the boys protesting the cold:




This was, by far, the funniest moment of the day:


As many of you know, Nick bruised his ribs last week in wrestling and is slowly recovering. He has been in a lot of pain and is finally starting the feel better. After taking some pictures, Bernie turns around and sees Nick climbing up the rocks. Bernie says something to the effect of: "What an idiot! He is going to get hurt climbing those rocks." Jack replies: "I want to be an idiot too! I am going with Nick!" Of course we did not allow him to do so. I guess I won't be able to use the "If Nick (or your friends) jumped off a cliff, would you do it too" line on Jack, because apparently his answer would be yes!

Two more pictures just because I like them too much to not post them:

Rocky Neck is one of many truly beautiful places around us. I definitely want to try this again in another couple of months when it is much warmer. Jack won't mind because this beach has an extra bonus: trains!

Who Moved My Cheese?

I got a call the other day from one of my best friends, (who will remain nameless simply because I don't want to embarrass her) to tell me that she is being let go from her job. I seem to surround myself with strong women with similar life experiences, I guess to some degree we all do this when choosing our circle of friends. She had her first child at 17, worked her way through college and after a few years off, she decided to go to law school. We graduated together and since that time, she has gone through a whole string of difficult situations, including divorce, and, deciding ultimately that she really didn't want to practice law which resulted in a few job transitions. She found a job she was actually enjoying and due to changes in market conditions, now she is beginning the career search once again. She is easy to get along with, flexible in her thinking and very hard working. I hate to see her going through this again.

Both Bernie's company and mine are going through their own restructuring processes as large corporations often do. All of this got me thinking about the book "Who Moved My Cheese" by Spencer Johnson. It came out in the late 90s and was required reading for one of my MBA classes. I read it about the same time that Enron went bankrupt (for those of you that don't know, in what seems like a former life now, prior to law school, I worked for a facilties management company in Hartford that was purchased by Enron about 18 months prior to the big collapse). If I remember correctly, the purpose of the book is basically to get readers to see change in a positive light instead of being threatened by it. It spawned other books such as "Who Moved My Cheese for Kids," and "Nobody Moved Your Cheese."

In the current economy, there is a push to do more with less. More work with less employees, rising prices outpacing rising wages. We are told to expect bonuses to be 80% of last year and that raises might be nonexistant even if we are working longer hours than ever before. We are being stretched thin as companies search for maximum efficiency. In some ways this philosophy helped spawn the Occupy Wall Street movement of 2011.

While this trend "feels" different to a lot of people, the idea of doing the same work for less reward isn't really new to us. In fact, in some ways it's part of the growth process. I realized this yesterday as we continue the potty training struggle with our very stubborn 3 year old. He is motivated by rewards, as most of us are - smiles, praise, and payment. Jack's currency: candy, more specifically Skittles and Hershey Bars. He would get 1 square of chocolate for trying and 3 for a success, or a few skittles for trying, or as he put it "a whole bunch of crittles" when he would go. This worked great when his successes were few and far between. Now that he's mastered #1 and he's working on #2, we had to change the reward system and he's clearly disappointed. You can see the wheels turning in his head. Last week #1 was worth 3 squares and now it's only worth one. It's exactly the same amount of work and effort, but for a fraction of the reward. Nick summed it up perfectly when he said, "I peed on the potty all day, where are my skittles?" I almost expect this to spawn some sort of "Occupy the Bathroom" movement at my house. We had to change to reward system, and as he progresses, we'll need to change it again to avoid cavities and obesity. It is for his own good. We may even change the currency to stickers, that would really throw him for a loop. It is illustrative though of what happens when we master a skill. We work hard, we accomplish it and then it just becomes an expectation instead of something for which we are rewarded. A year or two from now, Jack won't be rewarded for using the potty but likely scolded if he has accidents, for not taking time out to go to the bathroom, or not trying to go before we leave the house. As there is room to grow through the natural developmental stages if childhood, there is room to grow in adulthood as well. If we become complacent in our careers or even our relationships, should we still be rewarded? I am not by any means suggesting that the system is fair, but just that maybe it isn't such a bad thing for us individually and personally to continually improve, adapt, raise the bar, and just generally strive to be more fully ourselves.

My friend has a surprisingly positive attitude about her current situation and all she's been through. This is an opportunity for her to further stretch herself, to try something new, maybe even fulfill a dream or two. If you are hiring or know someone who is, I will send you her CV. I promise you won't be disappointed.

For the rest of us, maybe our cheese has moved or maybe it isn't even cheese anymore. Maybe we just need to be creative and willing to step outside of our comfort zones and look for other ways of figuring out what it is we want and how to get it. As for me, I am starving! I am going to make cheese fondue and dip everything I can find in it, bread, fruit, vegetables, etc. Doesn't everything taste better when it's smothered in cheese? Happy Friday :-)

The Days Are Long But The Years Are Short

First an update on baby Addie:  While she is not of the woods yet, she is moving in the right direction.  Recovering from a major surgery like this is often a roller coaster of ups and downs. Continued thoughts and prayers for her and her family can only help them get off ride sooner and bring their baby girl home where she belongs.

This week's photo challenge is: Ordinary Things.      

 

Those of you who know me well know that I am not a crier - meaning I don't usually cry at the end of sappy movies or other things like that. It usually takes a lot to get the water works flowing. When I first found out I was pregnant (and was very obviously hormonal), I saw this commercial for the first time and I actually started sobbing. 

  

The line that really got to me was "…there are only so many moments before the sword is passed." 

 

When I saw this challenge posted, I knew it had to be about Nick.  In my mind, he is still the 5 year old playing T-ball with a helmet that is too big and a bat he can barely hold up.  In reality, he is a 6'2" Sophmore who now comes up to the plate swinging the bat with confidence and grace, and who will be  turning 16 in just a few short weeks.  16!  How in the world did that happen?  

 

Like most teenagers, he tends to leave his things around the house. It's more convenient than putting them away or so I am told. The baseball equipment seems like its out of control sometimes - taking up the entire trunk of the car or half of the dining room. These are the "things" that seem like a nuisance now but that I know I will miss when he goes off to college and beyond. He recently spent the weekend with his grandparents and the house just felt empty without him.  Jack kept looking for him and was thrilled when he came home.  Clearly I am not going to be the only one who is sad when he does actually move into a dorm room. 

 

My picture of an ordinary thing this week, is this bucket of baseballs.  It has been in our lives for quite a few years, but that we can never seem to find a home for them, even in the off season.  

One of the links to blogs that I read is Gretchen Rubin’s, “The Happiness Project.”  One of her Four Splendid Truths is that “the days are long but the years are short.”  She couldn’t be more right.  We have only 2 ½ years until Nick graduates and I know that time is going to fly by.  Instead of complaining about driving to St. Bernard’s all the time, or about rushing home to get to a wrestling match, or smelly sneakers, or his messy room (this list could go on and on), I am going to try to enjoy every funny sarcastic remark he comes up with, enjoy every little victory, and savor all of the ordinary moments in between.  He is truly a gift to our family and has quickly grown into a smart, witty, almost-adult, who makes the right decisions on the things that really matter.  Any parent would be proud to call him their son.  I love you, Nick!

Glimpses

Our camera of choice is a Nikon D60 SLR.  It takes very good pictures.  I'd like to tell you that it's because of the photographer and not the camera, but most of the good shots are pure luck.  Last year, determined to really learn how to use it, I joined a 52-week photography challenge.  The users were very good about giving feedback on my pictures and talking about technique on theirs.  I did learn quite a bit, but most of us (present company included) fizzled out by March. Someday, I will go and take the weekend photography seminar that Nikon puts on.

Besides being somewhat complicated, the other problem with the D60, is that it is bulky and heavy.  It is hard sometimes to bring it along if I am taking Jack somewhere on my own.  I was also hestitant to bring it with me when I travel because I was afraid I would leave it somewhere.  Out of pure convenience I would revert to taking pictures on my iPhone 4, but was often disappointed with the quality of the photos.  For Christmas, Bernie got me a Nikon Coolpix S6000 point and shoot camera.  It's tiny enough to keep in my purse or even my pocket for those times when bringing the D60 isn't practical, but the pictures are better than the iPhone.  Until they make a pocket DSLR, it is the perfect compromise.

I hadn't given much thought to doing a photography challenge this year until I discovered that my cousin was hosting one.  I am not actually committing to the whole year (LOL), but I thought I'd at least give this week's challenge a shot.  The background and inspiration is available here if you are interested: Photography Challenge.

The jist of the challenge is to capture the moments of your routine day rather than waiting for the perfect shot. My first try is below and I think I failed miserably.  By trying to capture various aspects of my day without leaving anyone out, it looks very much like the pictures I normally post.

Below is my second attempt. Jack is the only person who will let me follow him around with the camera all day, so I decided to focus on him.  This is a little more in line with the challenge.  I took all of these today and he is not feeling well, so he was a little less tolerant of the camera than usual. Even with a 102 degree fever, he is still a goof ball!



Healing a Broken Heart

I have recently discovered the Evernote App. You can jot down notes, save pictures, mark websites, etc. for use later from your iphone and/or ipad. So now that I can actually work on the bus, I am going to try blogging again.  Hopefully the motivation will last for more than a post or two.

 

Speaking of motivation, I subscribe to the Runner’s World Daily Kick in the Butt.  They send me daily motivational quotes. Today’s quote was one of my favorites and is by Martin Luther King, Jr.:

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

 

In the running context this was meant to evoke the question of how you respond physically and mentally when your training or race becomes difficult.  As with most running analogies, it applies to life after your sneakers come off.

One advantage to the traveling I have been doing with my job, is meeting new people in different parts of the country.  I am blessed in that I have acquired several new friends along the way.  One of them is LaDonna. LaDonna and I have a lot in common. We both had children young, we both went to law school a little later in life, and now unfortunately, we both have heart babies in our families.

 

When LaDonna found out she was going to be a grandmother again, she was ecstatic. She counted down the months to baby’s arrival. She threw her daughter a fabulous baby shower, paying attention to all the little details.  It took countless shopping trips for LaDonna to find the perfect outfit for the baby to wear home from the hospital. She couldn’t wait to get that baby in her arms.

About this time last year, I was asking you all to pray for my nephew, Tyler as we faced the challenge of him going to Boston Children’s Hospital for his heart “tune up.” Your prayers worked.  Tyler is healthy, he is another year older and has entered middle school.  I am hoping your prayers will work again, this time for LaDonna’s granddaughter, Addie.

Addie came in to the world on Wednesday at 6 lbs, 8 ½ oz, and measuring 21” long.  She has cute chubby cheeks and dark hair. Shortly after she was born, the doctors discovered that her oxygen saturation levels would not stay up.  She was airlifted to a children’s hospital for emergency surgery when it was discovered that all four of her heart valves were closed.  She underwent eight hours of surgery yesterday to repair her heart.  She is stable but is having trouble regulating her blood pressure.  Those of you who were on the journey with us with Tyler eleven years ago, know all to well that Addie’s health will remain fragile for the days and weeks to come. 

LaDonna is one of the strongest people I have the pleasure of knowing. She is without a doubt guiding her family gracefully through this difficult time, all the while ensuring that Addie receives the best possible care. Considering all that little Addie has been through in her first 48 hours of life, there is little doubt that she has inherited LaDonna’s focus, stubbornness, and determination, all characteristics that will help her overcome this. Please keep Addie and her family in your thoughts and prayers.